


Astoria

by Signed_Heart



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Arranged Marriage, Divorce, Eventual Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy, F/M, Falling In Love, I just really love her okay, Infertility, Lucius Malfoy Being an Asshole, POV Astoria Greengrass, Past Astoria Greengrass/Draco Malfoy, Relationship Problems, astoria greengrass should be protected at all costs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-27
Updated: 2020-05-29
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:34:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 15
Words: 32,745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23869861
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Signed_Heart/pseuds/Signed_Heart
Summary: Astoria Greengrass is known as the woman who marries Draco Malfoy. But how much do we really know about Lady Malfoy? And what happens when her "perfect" life comes crashing down? Seeing the story through Astoria's eyes; a Dramione fanfiction that might not have the audience hoping for Dramione after all...
Relationships: Astoria Greengrass/Draco Malfoy, Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy
Comments: 15
Kudos: 94





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi there! This is a repost of a story if mine from 2013. I'm posting as is so this is 2013 writing style and issues, but I may end up editing the whole thing. It's crazy that I wrote this as a teenager... Unfortunately with Corona my healthcare job has kept me pretty busy so I haven't been able to finish my latest chapter of Surreptitious. I hope this holds ya'll over. Stay safe out there! -S

I heard my mother calling me from downstairs. I was home from Hogwarts for Christmas break and had been spending the time quietly reading in my room, some gossip magazine per usual. This was my last year at Hogwarts, something I was very happy for. I couldn't wait to break free from this entire family. Sure, my parents were nice and all. My sister, Daphne, on the other hand was a complete brat. I had mixed feelings over what she did after her own graduation from the magical school. She completely shocked us all when she went against everything she had ever believed and ran off to who-knows-where with a muggle. My parents had never been so disappointed, but I was a little envious. Definitely not that she is in a relationship with a dirty muggle, but that she had the courage to step up and disobey our parents. Something I could never do.

"Astoria, please! Your father and I have something important to discuss with you," her mother called from the bottom of the marble staircase again.

Astoria pulled herself up from her bed and away from her thoughts of Hogwarts and his sister. She was greater by both parents at the end of the stairs. This was a sight to see because rarely were her parents ever in the same room. They had a very rocky marriage, even though they tried to hide that fact from their daughters.

"There you are darling," her mother smiled at her. "Why don't we retire to the den while we talk."

"We have very exciting news for you," her father threw in as he turned to leave the room.

Her mother and her followed him into the den. Her mother sat close to her father on the couch while Astoria took up the a chair opposite of them. Her curiosity was getting to her as she waited for her parents to continue. "Well…"

"You know your sister ran off with that muggle boy two years ago…" Her mother started.

"It devastated the family, we had counted on her marrying into a nice, wealthy, pure blood family. Instead she went against everything that this family believe. We have been talking, your mother and I, to other pureblood families about this little ordeal. We have come to the conclusion that we simply cannot allow this to happen again." Her father spoke seriously.

"I won't marry a muggle. Why would I?" Astoria rolled her eyes.

"That's not a risk we're willing to take, your sister had always said the same thing," her father replied.

Her mother continued in a cheery voice, "We have been talking to the Malfoy's. Lucius wants to marry off his son as quickly as possible. This is the perfect opportunity!"

It was starting to click in place as to where she would fit in, "You don't mean…"

Her father cut her off, "Yes. We have arranged for you to marry Draco Malfoy."

"But he's so much older than me!" Draco was two years ahead of her in school, graduating the same year as her sister.

"Now Astoria, it's only two years," her mother chided.

"Well your sister would have been better suited, yes, but we see what a disappointment she has been. But we know you won't be, not if you marry a Malfoy."

Her father eyed her. Dare she revolt against this horribly unfair marriage? Of course not, but marry Draco Malfoy? Did he even agree to this? She didn't want to admit the crush she had on him when he was still in school. He had been friends with her sister so she had run into him on a few occasions.

Her mind went to one summer two years ago...

"Astoria! Get out of here!" Daphne Greengrass screeched, throwing a nearby shoe at her sister's form standing in the doorway.

Astoria ducked as the shoe flew passed her head, "I just wanted to warn you that Mum and Dad are on their way home."

That caught Daphne's attention, "What? They're not suppose to be back until tomorrow." She narrowed her eyes, as if accusing her sister of lying. Walking over to block her sister's access of the room by standing in the doorway.

"Well something happened in Paris and Mum wanted to come home early so they just sent a letter that they would be home today," Astoria shrugged. Peering around her sister she saw the company that she had. Pansy Parkinson, Blaise Zabini, and Draco Malfoy we all sitting around the room. Draco was watching the altercation between the sisters as he absentmindedly created smoke in intricate designs from the end of his wand.

"Ugh!" She turned to her friends, "I guess you guys should be going, sorry about this." The three slowly got up from their independent seating. "And you!" Daphne turned to her sister once more, "Don't you dare tell Mum or Dad about me having people over."

"I won't!" Astoria squeaked out.

"Aw Daphne don't be so mean to her, she's just trying to help. It's actually kind of cute," A chuckle erupted from none other than Draco Malfoy.

"Oh gag," Daphne rolled her eyes, "You did not just call my kid sister cute."

"Yeah Drac, what's that about?" Pansy sneered at him, obviously jealous. She was Draco's somewhat girlfriend. He didn't treat her like a girlfriend, but she was always around hanging on to his every word.

"Oh stop, I just mean that it's nice she looks out for you." Draco brushed off.

"Whatever," Daphne said in a snarky voice, "I'll walk you to the gate." She turned and left the room, brushing roughly by her sister in the hall. Blaise and Pansy followed her out right away.

Draco followed after but when walking past Astoria he smirked at her, "You are kinda cute though." He winked at her.

Marry Draco Malfoy? There could be way worse purebloods to marry.

"Astoria honestly, pull yourself together." My mother rolled her eyes as we walked up the stairs to the Malfoy Manor. We were here to sign some papers and get the marriage agreement started. I was obviously nervous beyond belief. I still had a very hard time processing that Draco would ever even want to marry me.

Lucius Malfoy opened the door, "Hello! Please come in."

Her parent's both lead the way as she trailed behind them, looking very much like a lost child. She really wasn't that young, but she felt it her. She followed her parents into a large sitting room where Draco and Narcissa Malfoy were already seated.

"Hello, welcome welcome!" Mrs. Malfoy beamed. She was clearly excited about this marriage.

We took our own seats, I unfortunately made eye contact with Draco, who was staring at me curiously. When he caught my eye he smiled softly.

Our parents started to talk about an agreement document about the marriage. The entire thing bored me and I yawn softly, trying to hide it.

But Mrs. Malfoy must have caught it for she turned to her son and spoke softly, "Draco darling, why don't you take Miss Greengrass to the tea room? I'm sure she would love to warm up in front of the fire and have tea, the weather is brutal out there," Mrs. Malfoy edged on her son and smiled at me. "Anyway this paperwork is dreadfully boring business."

He got up from the chair he was sitting in, "of course mother. Would any of you like anything? I could have a house elf bring something in." He asked politely as he made his way toward the exit of them room.

"That'd be lovely dear, yes have Dottie bring us some tea and the scrumptious little cookies she makes."

"Of course," he smiled at them. He motioned for me to follow, "Are you coming?"

I jumped up from my seat at once and followed him into another room.

"Have a seat," he gestured to the table.

I sat down at the cute little table that was placed in the room. It was close enough to the fireplace to catch the warmth from it, but not too close. I watched silently as Draco bent down, lighting the fireplace with his wand. I felt the heat reach me immediately. Mrs. Malfoy was right, it was terribly cold outside and I still hadn't shaken the chill from me yet.

A house elf appeared and fluttered around me, laying things on the table.

He came back and sat across from me at the table."So…" Draco started as he watched the small house elf in the pink frilly apron pour tea into the cups.

And that's when my nervous talking began, "So this must be super weird for you, you know since I'm younger and you were friends with my sister. You know before she ran off with that muggle, which really surprised us all because she was a very strict pureblood who always said how disgusting muggles were, but maybe that didn't actually surprise you because maybe you as her friends knew her better than I did. I mean I'm only her sister and she really didn't even like me that much so we didn't talk about anything ever anyway. Maybe she actually liked muggles, I don't know. So yeah this-"

"Astoria." He cut me off, something I was grateful for, "breathe." He smiled at me, amused.

"I'm sorry I talk when I'm nervous," I squeaked out.

"Thank you Dorie," he nodded at the house elf before she pulled on her ear and with a *pop* was gone. He turned back to me, "why are you so nervous."

"You're Draco Malfoy!" I said as if it couldn't be anymore obvious.

"I am," that amused smile was back.

I looked away from him as I took a sip of my tea, careful not to drop it since my hands were shaking slightly, "you probably only see me as a kid still anyway."

Draco reached out and stilled my hand, completely relieving it of the shaking it was doing prior. He started at me, hand still on my wrist and his thumb curved up to rest on my palm. "No, you're definitely not a child anymore." The look he gave me looked appreciative, "You've grown up, and it has done you well."

My eyes went wide, pupils dilating as his face went in and out of my focus, "really?"

"Quite." A smirk played on his lips as I watched the reflection of the fire's flames in the pupils of his eyes, his irises too light in color to capture a reflection.

I gulped. One hurdle had been passed, but there was still another thing that left me feeling uneasy. "I do have a question…" It was clear that I was nervous to ask.

"I probably have an answer," he smiled a genuine smile at me.

How did I say this? After a few moments of trying to figure that out I gave up and decided just to ask my question. "I know your family was rather…involved in the war."

He nodded, waiting for me to go on.

"And I know which side your family was on, our families were on."

He didn't seem phased.

"I was wondering if you were still a part of that because I don't know how I would feel being married to a deatheater."

He paused for a minute, "So your question is if I'm a deatheater?"

"Yes."

He sighed deeply, running his hand through his blonde hair. "After the war ended a lot of things changed, even for big families like mine. The Malfoy family is soaked in tradition. One tradition is to be part of Voldemort's force."

I held my breath, oh no…

"But even more than that, tradition to protect our name's honor is at the forefront. My father has only recently been released from Azkaban. After Voldemorts fall our family has taken to doing more damage control than anything. We've all been on our very best behavior." He smiled at me, "So to answer your direct question, no I am not a deatheater."

I sighed in relief. "Good, I'm sorry I just…I would have such a hard time with that. It terrifies me."

He nodded in agreement, "Want to hear a secret?" He whispered.

"A secret?"

"Yes, one that very few people know."

I was ever curious, "of course."

He leaned in toward me, "I never wanted to be one."

I gasped, "really? But your family is so-"

"I know, I know. I was given an order to kill Dumbledore, but I couldn't do it. I didn't have it in me. I am a Malfoy, but I have a lot of good in me believe it of not. I take after my mother in many ways."

"What about your father?"

He chuckled, "He's a raving lunatic." He breathed that out like it was no big deal.

I couldn't help but to laugh out loud at his bluntness. Maybe this marriage thing would be a lot easier than I had thought.


	2. Public Eye

I already could hear the buzz of people filling the lobby of the manor. Tonight was a big night and I couldn't wait. It was sure to be full of fine drinks, laughter, dancing, and photographer's flashes. I was sitting at a large vanity in my bathroom, casting a spell on my hair to make it stay just so.

A knock on the bathroom door alerted me of his presence, "Show time."

"I'll be right out," I smiled over my shoulder and watched him push himself away from where he had been leaning on the door frame. He walked down the hall and out to the top of the stairs. He looked incredible tonight, dressed in a dark suit. The emerald-green tie did wonders as well, it really was his color, brightening up his normally pale features.

I followed him shortly after. Floating candles hovered just below the tall ceiling. Light caught on everything in the room causing a sparkling effect.

"I'd like to thank you all for coming, it truly means the world to us that we have so many people willing to share this special day with us," my husband purred as he leaned over the balcony, looking down at all of our guests.

I joined him at the railing, my face lighting up instantly. These gatherings were one of my favorite thing about being a Malfoy.

"And you all know how much Astoria loves these little things." He pulled my hand to his face, kissing the top of it.

I could hear the crowd "aww". After all we were the ideal relationship in the public's eyes.

Placing a hand on the small of my back, he guided me down the stairs. I watched as people started to filter into the ballroom.

We were greeted by his parents at the bottom of the stairs. His father looked disinterested as always, but his mother fluttered around us like a mother hen. "Draco, you look fantastic darling." She pulled her son in for a hug. He towered over her but returned the hug. She turned toward me, "And Astoria, as beautiful as ever." She kissed my cheek. "Happy anniversary!"

"Thank you," I smiled at her softly. Narcissa was my life saver in this family. She use to terrify me, I always worried that I wouldn't be able to live up to the role of Lady Malfoy as she had. She helped me every step of the way. We often spent days together, gossiping in the tea room where Draco and I had talked all those years ago. We went shopping together, even taking extended vacations together when our husbands were too busy with work for us.

Draco was now the owner of Malfoy Apothecary, the business that had been in his family since founded in 1971. It was rare for Draco or his father, who assumed the role of Draco's right hand man, to actually step foot in the store itself. They were heavily into the business aspect. Draco was a perfect businessman. Levelheaded and just, unlike his father, but conniving and ruthless, much like his father. The two men were often locked away in their respective offices, leaving us ladies to spend time together.

Speaking of business, Draco was approached by a short, stubby man wearing a navy blue suit. "Mr. Malfoy, your presence is requested by Mr. Knock. He wishes to finish the discussion started last night."

Draco nodded, "I'll be right over."

Narcissa spoke up, "It's your anniversary party! You shouldn't be doing business now."

"Narcissa…" Lucius warned.

Draco rolled his eyes at his mother, "Astoria doesn't mind, she understands." He turned to me, "don't you dear?"

"Of course." I was used to this.

"See mother? I'll only be a moment." He moved away from me after places a chaste kiss on the top of my head.

Narcissa just shook her head, clearly unhappy with the situation but knowing better than to say anything.

To add even more stress to the situation a particular dark-haired women made her appearance known when she came rushing toward where we stood.

Pansy Zabini hated me, always had. She had once been very good friends with my sister and hated me then because I was just "that annoying kid". When Daphne "betrayed" us all by running off with a muggle, Pansy had made sure everyone knew. She also wasn't shy about telling everyone how the Greengrass name was forever tarnished.

Pansy had always thought that she would be the next Lady Malfoy. She was absolutely shocked when Draco declined. He had never wanted to marry her, and his parents didn't like her bloodline as much as mine. And after the Parkinsons and Malfoys had a falling out after a botched business deal, the thought of Draco marrying her was nonexistent.

"Narcissa!" She screeched as she tugged her husband along behind her, trying to put herself right in front of the older Malfoys.

"Oh why, hello Pansy," Narcissa let go of where she was holding my wrist, admiring the new bracelet I had gotten from Draco. It was easy to tell she had been the one who had picked out the gift.

Pansy went to hug Narcissa but was stopped by her protruding stomach.

Lucius turned to Blaise, "expecting another I see."

Blaise's face lit up, he was nothing if not a proud and happy father. "Baby number two, our little Alleah will be getting a sister in a few months."

"No son yet?"

"Not yet," Blaise stiffened, it was no secret that he was very happy to be having another daughter. He often joked that he wasn't sure anyone could handle another Zabini man around.

"Well keep at it," Lucius gave a pointed look toward Pansy's stomach. "We'd all hate to see the Zabini name go out." His eyes glanced my way, "it's always a shame when that happens simply because a wife can't do her job properly."

"Excuse me?" Pansy glared.

Lucius was about to speak again, probably about to put her in her in what he thought was her proper place, but Narcissa interjected. "Pansy! Why don't you come with me, I have someone I'd love for you to meet." She dragged her away with a quite pissed off Blaise trailing behind.

And then it was two.

"Isn't it about time that you gave us an heir to the Malfoy fortune?" Lucius sneered at me. He constantly acted like it was my fault that there was no child yet. It takes two...

"I'm trying…" I mumbled softly.

"Not hard enough."

"I am! But Draco just-"

"Do not try to blame this on my son!"

Speak of the devil, my husband chose that moment to show up. He slipped his arm around my waist, drawing me closer to him. "Is there a problem, father?"

Lucius changed instantly, still angry looking but no longer interested, "of course not."

"Right, well excuse me while I steal my wife away. It is our party after all."

Lucius may have tried to speak again, always wanting the last word, but Draco had stolen me away before he could.

"Thank you."

"He is a piece of work," Draco rolled his eyes. He didn't get along with his father as well as most thought. He tried to keep up appearances of it to please his mother.

I giggled at the statement as we entered the ballroom. The decorations were beautiful, everything shimmering from the grand chandeliers. Narcissa had been in charge of decorations and she had never failed to impress.

Pictures from our honeymoon were shown. We had went to a place that I had always dreamed of going. My parents had traveled a lot but they never allowed me to go, I was always left with a nanny. Venice, Italy was the place that I wanted to see more than anywhere. As a child I had hung onto every word that my mother would say as she told tales of her trip to me. Draco and I stayed at one of the finest hotels, the Luna Hotel Baglioni. The Giorgione Suite was a double level room that was to die for. It had a private raised wooden terrace that looked over the bay of San Marco and the city as well. I spent hours on the terrace sipping fine wine, Italy's best of course, and watching the city. Draco surprised me and we went on a helicopter ride above the city. The country was truly beautiful, the rainbow of colored rooftops and billowing sheets hung out to dry decorated the land. Seeing all the street vendors selling their products on the cobblestone footpaths. The famous canals blew me away, their intricate highways mapping out the city.

That was the first of many of our trips. I believe that Draco starts to feel bad about how much he works about once or twice a year. He apologizes and then sweeps me away to someplace foreign. Hey, I'm not complaining.

We spent the night the center of attention, people admiring our relationship and constantly trying to stay or get on our good side.

As the night wrapped up Draco grabbed a microphone and spoke, his voice coming through the surrounding speakers. "I'd like to thank you all for coming but unfortunately this night does have to end." People booed. "Hey now, you know there will be more," he winked as people were starting to be ushered out. He turned to me, "would you liked to say anything?"

I knew I should, but I was terrible with public speaking. I couldn't capture their attention in the way that my husband's smooth, low voice could. His very presence demanded attention, he was perfect to be in the limelight. I was a very happy background part, never wanting to draw too much attention to myself. "No…"

"People have come from all over to wish us a happy anniversary…" he started in a hushed whisper.

I knew he was right and grabbed the black microphone out of his hand, standing from our table by his side I spoke. "Hello, hi, thank you all for coming. It has really been…an amazing night." I rushed out. I saw Draco nod, telling me that that was enough. He knew I would start rambling if he let me go on.

People clapped for us as we walked towards the door, saying individual goodbyes to our guests. I loved these parties, but they always wore me out. So many fake smiles and false friends. I think that's why I loved them though, for a night I was able to be something that I wasn't.

When we finally got rid of the last guests Draco's parents bid their farewells and took off. Something I was very happy for. I just couldn't wait to sleep.

Still, when we got into our room after the long night I couldn't let what his father had said pass. Not again.

Biting my lip, cautiously I spoke, "Your father was harassing me about children again." I struggled to unzip the heavy sequined dress I was wearing.

He came around the bed to unzip it for me, "Oh?"

I let the dress fall, stepping out of it."I've been thinking about it lately as well…" I really had. The last time Pansy had a child and I saw the beautiful baby girl, I fell in love. I wanted a child desperately. For the next year or so I pestered him constantly, trying to get him into bed any chance I got. Tried to distract him every time before he could cast a contraceptive charm. I had even tried asking him not to before that but it always ended in an argument. Seeing Pansy pregnant again was like taking a knife to my heart, but seeing Blaise be the happy father was what killed me.

"It'll happen when it happens," Draco gave a dismissal wave as he loosened his tie. I watched him toss it aside.

I sighed, we had this conversation almost every time that we saw his parents. "It can't happen if we're not trying…" For someone who was nicknamed the Slytherin Sex God, he certainly had a low sex drive…at least with me.

"I'm not ready to be a father yet," he was facing away from me, looking out the large window of our bedroom. Unbuttoning his shirt and letting it fall to the ground. A house elf would have it gone before the morning. He was never ready...

"Could you tell him that? He blames me." I slipped on my sleepwear before moving to remove my makeup.

I heard his belt buckle come undone. "Tell him what? That I don't want kids anytime soon? He'll just have one of his little fits. He'll go on and on about how we should have them before your biological clock runs out of time."

"See? It's always my fault. Draco, that's not fair!"

"Astoria, I don't feel like discussing the topic any further," he snapped at me.

As I climbed into bed I knew arguing with him was pointless.

Our marriage had been falling apart over the past two years. The first two were fine, we we're in the "honeymoon stage", so many good things kept happening for us that we never had the chance to realize we were a horrible match. Nothing about our personalities went together. My father was probably right when he said Daphne would have been a good match for Draco.

I tried to play the happy wife, the woman that wasn't bothered by the fact that her husband always spent time away from her. I knew he worked a lot but I swear it was so he wouldn't have to come home to me. He did care about me, it was clear. He was rarely ever mean to me, and when he was he apologized for it, he never let his father be cruel to me either. We treated each other with respect, we just didn't love each other. I did a convincing job, everyone thought we were the perfect couple. There was even an incline in the amount of arranged marriages after people saw how "successful" our was.

To the public I was the beautiful Lady Malfoy, the loving wife of the successful Lord Draco Malfoy.

But when I was alone, as I often found myself, I was just Astoria.


	3. Granger Danger

Draco was always an early riser so it was to no surprise to find him already drinking his morning coffee at the table. I had just gotten out of the shower myself but he was already impeccably dressed and ready for the day.

"Morning."

He glanced up at me from his coffee cup that was perched in his hand, "Good morning." Draco began flipping through this morning's edition of The Daily Prophet when he spoke, "My mother owlled this morning asking for your accompaniment. Shopping, I'm assuming."

I perked up at this. I loved spending the day with Narcissa, "Probably, you know how that woman loves to shop." I giggled. "Are you terribly busy today?"

He shook his head, "Not terribly, I have a meeting with someone from the Department of Magical Law Enforcement today. A product went wrong and we're trying to stay out of any legal troubles that it may have brought up."

We knew many people from the Ministry and it was always nice to do business with a friend. "Oh? Anyone we know?"

"From DMLE? No, I don't think so. They are sending a 'higher up' member of the squad, but I don't know who they are sending. Regardless, I'm sure he'll be fine and get us out of any trouble. Even the law enforcers have their price," Draco winked. In our world money could solve any problem…well any of his problems.

"Are you having the meeting here? I'm not sure when we'll be back."

"Yes, we'll either be in my office or my meeting room most likely, so don't worry about it." He smiled at me as he moved from the table to place a coffee cup on the tray left by the house elves, "Say, what about we go out for dinner tonight? To celebrate getting out of this legal problem and moving the business forward. "

"You don't know if you're out of it yet," I smiled back at him.

He came around behind where I was sitting at the table, placing his hands on the back of my chair, "Have I ever lost a case like this?" He smirked at me.

I rolled my eyes looking up at him, "of course not. I'm just saying you shouldn't count all your dragons before they hatch."

"Mmm," he placed a kiss to my neck, "so dinner?"

I titled my head, allowing him better access, "When should I be ready?"

"We'll leave at 6:30." Teeth sunk into skin and I released an animalistic noise.

I heard Draco chuckle in response but then also heard another voice.

"Am I interrupting something?"

I turned to see an amused Narcissa standing in the doorway, "No!" I squeaked out, feeling the heat rush to tinge my cheeks and nose.

Draco smirked at me before turning to his mother, "Come to steal her away?"

"Only for the morning, then you can ave her back."

"Good we have plans tonight."

"Are you ready?" She turned to ask me.

I jumped up from my chair, "yes, let's go."

"I'll see you later, have fun you two. Don't spend more than what a small country is worth," Draco joked knowing his mother and her spending tendencies.

We flood to a shopping district proceeded with our day, going into many shops and buying more than we could carry. Most of the packages and bags were sent straight back to our homes.

We decided to stop and get a small meal since I had skipped breakfast this morning.

While eating Narcissa spoke up, "Lucius bothered you last night after I left you two alone, didn't he?"

I chewed slowly, swallowing only when I had decided on telling her the truth, "He may have…" I felt like I was tattling on him.

"Don't listen to him, he's so angry all the time. He takes it out on anyone that he can. Unfortunately for you, you're the most fragile of us all." I didn't really know how to take that statement, was I fragile?

I did want her opinion on something. "Have you ever felt like your marriage was in trouble? You know since so much has happened while you were married?"

"Is something wrong?" She questioned instantly, wanting to know if something could possibly be wrong between Draco and I. _If she only knew._

"No! Of course not," I pulled a face that the idea of marriage problems seemed simply ludicrous.

She seemed to think about it for a minute, "No, I don't suppose we've ever had problems…but I also don't allow that to happen."

"Hmm?" I questioned, trying not to seem too interested.

"I try my hardest to make sure my marriage works. The reason so many fail is because someone in the relationship stops trying, any marriage will work if you work hard enough."

I had my doubts about that statement but I didn't say anything. Could any marriage work? Probably not, but mine could. And I decided, right then and there, that I would do anything to make it work.

* * *

Narcissa and I were carrying a few small bags into the manor when I heard a screen door slam against the frame. I followed the noise and noticed a back door was open, the light screen door attached to it was blowing in the slight breeze. This caused it to hit against the frame every so often. I heard soft voices coming through the opened door. It caught my attention because no one should be around other than the house elves.

The both of us were obviously curious so we walked toward the open door. I heard the tinkle of feminine laughter come from the patio. Narcissa and I both gave each other questioning looks. Who could that be coming from? I turned the corner to see Draco and someone who was vaguely familiar sitting at the patio table, sheets of paper spread out between the two. The woman was dressed in a tight grey sweater, black pants, and black kitten heels. Oh how I loathed kitten heels. She was rather pretty though, I thought unhappily.

The brunette caught sight of me first, her eyes coming up to meet mine. She looked at Narcissa as well, a strained smile toying at her lips. Making a turn around signal with her hand she got Draco to do so.

"Astoria, mother." He called our way, "back so soon?"

"We've been gone for hours!" Narcissa rolled her eyes, holding up shopping were just two of the many of others that had already been brought into the house.

"Right. Well Astoria I don't believe you've ever properly met Hermione Granger. She's the new second in command of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement." And that's when I remembered who she was. The brightest witch. She had definitely changed, going from an awkward girl to a tall and slender woman. Puberty had certainly done her well, and she had needed it too.

"Working my way up there." She smiled brightly.

"Oh well…" I didn't know what to say to this woman. From my understanding Draco had always hated her, but he seemed perfectly friendly now. He was right though, I never had properly met her. I never really desired to either, after all she was just a mudblood. Still her new job title was impressive, "good for you."

"And as I'm sure you know this is my wife, Astoria."

"A pleasure," Hermione smiled at me. She really seemed pleasant, all smiles and friendliness (even to people who were horrible to her in the past) but something about her just made me feel uneasy.

"We figured since it was such a lovely day out we would conduct our meeting out here instead of the stuffy meeting room." Draco gave me the answer to one of my questions. Yet I couldn't see his incredibly large meeting room as "stuffy".

"How are you dear?" Narcissa asked the woman.

"I am wonderful." A huge smile, "and yourself?"

"Rather well myself." She arched an eyebrow, "Are you still with the Weasley boy? Ronald was it?" Narcissa asked, always one for information grabbing.

"Oh no," Hermione smiled shyly, "Ron and I are just friends. We tried to give it a go but after all was said and done we found it just didn't work for us. It was a little awkward at first, but we're okay now."

"Well that is too bad."

"No, we're very happy this way. He has moved on and is a very successful relationship currently," I swore she could tell Narcissa was dying to ask, "with Lavender Brown. They dated once in Hogwarts, but she's a lot less ...crazy now."

"What about that darling Harry Potter?"

I watched as Hermione struggled not to roll her eyes at Narcissa's comment. She let out a deep breath, "He's great. Ginny Weasley and he got married three years ago."

"I did hear about that, a little sad that I didn't get invited." Narcissa smirked at Hermione.

It was very clear that the two had some unresolved issues. "It wouldn't have been up to your standards. It looked nothing like Draco and Astoria's if what I hear is true. It was just cozy little wedding at the burrow."

I saw Narcissa visibly shudder. A wedding should never be called "cozy" in my books. I loved the grander of my wedding. "And you?"

"Married to my work." Hermione shrugged.

"No children?"

"Oh no, one day though," she smiled softly. "But Harry and Ginny are trying so I may be a godmother soon." She seemed to be handing over information willingly to Narcissa just to make her go away.

"I know how you feel, I'm waiting to be a grandmother."

"Mother!"

It was Hermione's turn to look curious. "Oh, are you…?" She looked at me, her eyes glancing at my flat stomach.

"No."

"We're not." Draco said firmly, staring at me. He turned to Hermione again, "maybe we should continue this inside of my office."

"Okay?" she questioned but moved to pick up her papers and put them in a neat folder. "It was nice to meet you, Astoria." She smiled at me.

Something in the back of my mind was nagging at me as I watched her follow my husband to his office. Something that told me this wouldn't be the last I saw of Hermione Granger. 


	4. Of Baking & Books

Today was a new day, the day that I took charge of my marriage and made it something of substance.

I knew the basics of what a real marriage should be built on...but unfortunately I didn't have any first hand accounts of a marriage like that. The marriages that surrounded me since childhood had been about the benefits. Money, power, and prestige. This was common in a pureblood wizard family.

Real marriages should be based off of _love_. You should be in love with someone before you marry them. I hadn't always believed that to be true, but it was something that I had learned over the years. And over the years I also learned something else. You could get married and then fall in love. I was walking proof.

I was in love with Draco Malfoy.

He was just too easy to fall in love with, even if he wasn't the most easy person to love.

From an early age I knew there was something special about Draco Malfoy. I watched him grow up from the sidelines, always the friend's sister. I knew things about him that he could have never guessed I knew. I knew that he loved Astrology because he loved to learn about the constellation he was named after. I knew that he rather liked the color red, but wouldn't admit to it because it was a "bloody Gryffindor color". I knew that he had a very distinct pre-game warmup he did before each Quidditch match. How even though he always loved the family business he always had being a healer in the back of his mind. It wasn't something he'd ever act on, just an idea to entertain. I knew that he mumbled in his sleep when he was worried about something. 

But I fell in love with him after we married, after I got to know him for the person he really was. From the early morning conversations held in bed with his sleep drenched voice, low and husky. His sense of humor that didn't come out nearly enough. The way he would absentmindedly trace over scars left from his past when he was in deep though about something he didn't like. Scars left from being the child of a quite vicious death eater at the time and not always having his protective mother there. The way he wouldn't allow me to rattle on when I began to get nervous. The way he tried helping me through my shyness in the calmest of ways. How passionate he gets about the things he loves. I watched as he completely turned around the business that his father had left to fail. It was back in full swing, possibly even better than before. Being the recipient of one of _those_ looks from him could halt me in my tracks, frozen. The way he would step back and let me have my moment in the sun as well, never wanting to overshadow me. In the mundane aspects of life he somehow finds something great, something to take from the experience.

It was strange being in love with him when he clearly didn't feel the same toward me. He was always sweet, always kind…but it wasn't love.

Then slowly...I watched his feelings for me change, opened my eyes to it, waiting for it. Over time they did. I could read it in his eyes, the way he looked at me. Maybe he wasn't _in love_ with me, but he loved me. That was good enough for me at the time.

If this marriage was just for the benefits then I wouldn't be going through all this trouble to keep it going. I was sure Draco wouldn't leave me, even if he didn't want to be with me. Too much was riding on our marriage. It would kill his mother.

Not only did I need to make the marriage work…now I had to make sure Draco was in love with me. If he wasn't then I would just have to make him fall in love. How hard could it be?

* * *

My grandmother had always said that a way to a man's heart was through his stomach. Men loved women who could cook, right?

Draco's father often would often talk about how women had their place, and the kitchen was one of them. Still you would never see Narcissa in the kitchen. We had house elves for that.

Okay I'd try something new. Baking seemed like it would be the easiest, I remember watching my grandmother make her practically famous cookies. I could do that. Really how hard could it be? You just mix some ingredients together and put it in the oven.

I had no idea when Draco would be back so I figured that I'd better get started. The kitchen was unfamiliar territory for me. I had never cooked, or made anything other than tea. I had grown up always having house elves to make my every meal, right down to the stolen midnight snack my mum disapproved of.

Okay maybe I would need a little help, "Deita?" I called out.

The sharp POP announced that the house elf had joined me in the room. "Lady Malfoy called for Deita. Deita would like to help."

"Hi!" I smiled at the house elf, they were always so timid and shy, no matter how nice I was. Deita was mine and one of the few who was a little more outspoken. Some people saw this as disrespect for me, but I didn't. It was nice to have someone to banter with at time. "Could you help me bake something?"

She perked up at this, always so eager to help, "Deita could bake something for the Lady."

"No, I want you to help me bake something, I want to do it. I just want you to help me figure it out."

"Oh. How can Deita help?" She gave me a look, like she knew this wouldn't end well.

I had contacted my mother earlier in the day asking for my grandmother's recipes. My mum suggested that I had a house elf make one of the macaron recipes. She didn't need to know it was me baking.

I decided on a fairly simple recipe for raspberry macarons. I handed Deita the recipe, "Could you find me these ingredients?"

After an intense half an hour I though Deita would kill me. I could see the poor thing just getting more and more frustrated as I would mess something up. In the end she truthfully did most of the work..and mostly done by magic. Finally I had batter mixed and on the baking sheets. Sliding it in the oven. I was practically finished.

"Are you… baking?" The voice startled me, causing me to jump and hit my hand off of the incredibly hot surface of the oven's interior.

I let out a small, pained noise and pulled my hand away quickly, cradling it to my chest as the skin stung.

Draco rushed to me, "Here, hold it under cold water," he turned the sink on and pulled my burnt hand under it.

I didn't say anything, just cringed as the pain throbbed.

After a bit he pulled out his wand and muttered a healing spell. I watched as the shiny, smooth surface of reddened skin turned back into the pale, textured skin of the top of my hand.

"What were you doing? "

"I don't know I thought I'd try something new." I smiled at him like I had been caught committing a crime.

He gave me a puzzled look, "why?"

"I thought I could make you something."

He chuckled at me, "and damage yourself in the process?"

I rolled my eyes, "I was doing fine until you scared me!"

"Terribly sorry," he grabbed my hand and lifted it to his mouth, kissing the freshly healed skin.

"You're terrible," I muttered.

He winked at me, "and you're beautiful."

You see why I fell for him? He always had a way with words.

The macarons were burnt by the time we got back to them.

* * *

I popped my head into his office, "I'm going out for a bit, do you want me to pick up anything for you?"

He was shuffling papers, "No." He didn't look too busy so I walked over to where he was sitting behind his desk. He looked up, "Yes?"

I bent down and kissed him, long and slow, "I'll be back later."

"I'll see you then," he smirked at me. Maybe this love thing was less about food and more about...a different type of hunger.

I set off to a bookstore that I had passed by many times while shopping, I never would have imagined that I would actually be going into it.

I wasn't an avid reader, not even close. I preferred my reading to be short and to the point. That's why I stuck to magazines and the occasional newspaper article. The few times I had gone to bookstores were for books I needed for classes during my school days.

When I walked into the store the first thing I noticed was the scent. It smelled.frumpy. Oh well I would just have to deal with the smell, even if it reminded my of my great aunt's attic. I was a woman on a mission and nothing was going to stand in my way.

Certainly there could be someone here that could find me a book on how to save my marriage, but then I would have to admit to someone other than myself that something was wrong. Not happening. I would find this damn thing on my own.

Once inside the store I realized that it really wasn't that bad. It was comfortable. Tables and chairs were set up on one wall where people were scribbling away fervently. I smiled at them. They could be doing anything; writing a novel, scribbling down a to-do list, maybe even writing a love letter in a spell of passion. Once I got passed some of the high shelves I saw that a corner of the back of the store had old chairs for people to read on. It seemed rather nice.

I walked around the store a few times, easily getting lost in the maze of shelving units.

I had been stopped a few times by workers there trying to assist me, but I refused. "Just browsing," I would lie.

 _Ah here we are "Marriage and Family". Well…I have the marriage part._ I scanned the rows and rows of books that were packed tightly on the many shelves.

Why were there so many to choose from?

Title after title was written in various fonts amongst the books of all sizes and color. I was drawn to skinnier books in bright pastels. Things like _"A Woman's Guide to Marriage", "The Book of Marriage", "I DO…Want This To Work", and "Protect Your Marriage_ ", were just some of the few titles.

I chose about ten different books, figuring that I could always come back if I needed to. I also figured that after a while they would all start saying the same things. I was particularly excited about " _365 Little Things To Make Your Marriage Last_ ". Something small I could do everyday.

Struggling to carry the load of books I had chosen, I walked toward the front of the store to pay for them. While going in that direction I passed another small grouping of chairs for readers. There I saw a familiar face buried into a book. That little voice from when I had last been in her presence had been right because here I was looking again at Hermione Granger.

I turned quickly as I felt my stomach drop, a cold sensation washing over the inside of it. I did not want to see her right now. She worked with my husband, the husband that I was out buying books on how to save a marriage with. I couldn't imagine what she would think or say to him if she saw me with these books. I scurried passed her, keeping my head down low. After I laughed a little at myself. She was so engrossed in that book she was reading that she wouldn't have noticed if I went and sat down right in front of her. I would not let seeing her invalidate the joy I had felt all day. Still I hurried the cashier as he rung me out.

Leaving the store I already felt more confident. I was going to save my marriage.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have always imagined Astoria as someone who was less than intelligent. I don't think she's stupid, but I think that she was raised to value looks and money over education. She is a fine witch and is good at magic, but maybe not the more basic human things. I promise I am not just painting the character as stupid, I really do like her as a character. But just because I think this way doesn't mean I'm right, no one really knows too much about Astoria. Her inner monologue and my writing style don't really mesh, but I hope it's working out ok.
> 
> I would also like to say that their marriage isn't horrible. They are married and will have moments where they are friendly, sweet, and/or intimate. 
> 
> Also the book titles were completely made up, if they have any resemblance to any books out there it's purely coincidental.


	5. No Idea

Draco sat at the table eating his breakfast and going about him morning rituals.

"You look awfully happy this morning," I noticed as I spoke over the rim of my coffee mug. It wasn't something I had originally liked, coffee that is, but under Draco's addiction to it the bitter drink had grown on me.

"It's going to be a good day," he acknowledged, not looking up from the stocks pages of the newspaper.

"Oh?"

Taking a sip from his own mug he nodded, "Business is going well today. The legal problems we ran into are being sorted out."

"That's great!"

He genuinely smiled, "Yes, I have a meeting that finalizes it today. Hermione is coming over to sign the papers this afternoon."

Oh so it was _Hermione_ now? My face fell but I quickly fixed it, not allowing him to see that I was phased by this. As uninterested sounding as I could muster I asked, "Hermione?"

"Uh," he looked up from his paper, an eyebrow cocked in confusion, "Granger. You know from the Department of Magical Law Enforcement."

"Right..."

"We're working together to make a better system to stay out of legal trouble. We don't want to get into a bind again. This company has needed some legality changes for a long time, we just figured now would be best." He kind of chuckled as he spoke the last sentence, "I mean who better to dismantle this than someone like her? She's everything my father hated."

My jaw ticked slightly, but I was going to focus on the good. "Oh, so you'll be done working with her after this?"

"No, we still have a while to go, maybe a month. I'm not too positive. We're not rushing it."

I raised an eyebrow, "Why not? I thought you two never got along."

He shrugged casually, "We didn't. We absolutely hated each other in school. I guess we are just overlooking that in order to work together. Behaving like adults."

I didn't say anything as he returned back to his paper. Before long he sighed, looked at his watch, and got up from his spot. "You're attending Pansy's baby shower tomorrow, right?" He shot me a knowing look.

I detested Pansy. I knew she only invites me out of obligation. Our husbands may be best friends, but we definitely were not. "Do I have to?"

"You know you do, Astoria." He rolled his eyes at me.

I sighed audibly, "I know. You're still golfing with Blaise that day?" Blaise had introduced golf to Draco three years ago and he has been hooked ever since. To me it was too tedious and boring, but to the men it was a game of skill and wit, something those two competed on constantly.

"Actually we're going today, after my meeting. He is bringing Pansy..."

I knew what he was implying. I knew and I hated it. I let my face show it too. "Draco..."

"Darling..." He smiled at me, _knowing_ I would cave.

I crossed my arms over my chest, "I have to spend today and tomorrow with that witch?"

"She's not that bad!"

"Yes she is!" She was always horrible to me. In front of Draco she was full of sweetened backhanded compliments. She had this knack for knowing the smallest little thing that bothered someone. And she used it to her advantage. She was full of gossip about everyone and anyone. I had no clue how anyone could ever trust her. I was beginning to believe some people _wanted_ her to talk about them. She was this crazy tornado of a she-devil that tore apart lives and reputations like it was her day job. You could say that I wasn't exactly her biggest fan.

"Please? You've never gone with me."

I rolled my eyes, there was no way I was going to win this. "Fine, but I'm not going to like it."

"I'll make it worth it," he winked in my direction.

* * *

The doorbell rung and a house elf popped into my presence shortly after. "Lady Malfoy, there is a guest at the door requesting Master but he is in his office and told Lolly never to interrupt him there. Lolly doesn't want to disobey Master. Lolly knew to ask the Mrs."

"You're okay, Lolly. I'll go see the guest in." I smiled at the fretful house elf in front of me.

"Lolly wouldn't want to disrupt the Mrs."

"It's not a problem," I brushed past her and went to answer the door. I knew who it would be but it still surprised me to see her standing there.

"Oh, hello Astoria," Granger smiled at me warmly. "I'm a little early but I figured Draco would be ready."

"I'm sure he is. He likes promptness." I found myself speaking.

"I know," She seemed like she didn't know what to say to me. We were in the same position because I didn't know what to say to her either.

"Well _my_ husband is in his office," I emphasized the word 'my' somewhat unconsciously, "Lolly!" I called for the house elf to take Granger upstairs.

At once she appeared, eager to help as always.

Before Lolly could speak, Granger did. "Oh no, I can find it myself."

I rolled my eyes. Oh right, she had that weird thing about house elves. "It's a big place, don't be ridiculous. I would hate for you to get lost."

"I know where his office is. I'll be okay."

My eyes narrowed as I sized up the brunette. She raised an eyebrow at my obvious distaste. Turning to Lolly I spoke again, "Lolly, show her upstairs." Turning away from her to walk from the room, "Good day, Granger."

* * *

The scenery at the country club was gorgeous. The meticulous landscaper seemed to have every bush, tree, and blade of grass just as he wanted it. The lush green hillside met small ponds that were there to, from my understanding, frustrate the golfers by stealing their golf balls. The day was perfect for the outing, blue skies and a gentle breeze. Not too windy as I often heard Draco complain of, as the wind would skew his results. I could see how the land beckoned the men, as their normally calm composer was broken as they became antsy to get out there and play their game. Words of competition and bets were lost on me as I took in the view. I didn't come with Draco to these places, I honestly had thought this would bore me. But it's beauty held something that captured my attention.

Unfortunately this attention was broken when a squeaky, annoying voice broke into my thoughts. "Well you boys have fun. We'll just wait on the patio."

Blaise kissed his wife and walked away to get the keys to one of the little cars they drove around. Pansy started to walk away and I knew I would have to follow her. A quick "try to be nice," and a kiss from Draco and I was trotting along after her.

We ended up sitting at a wire table on the patio. It was a warm day so sitting outside was nice. Never knowing what to say to the woman across from me, I nervously drummed my nails against the table.

Pansy sneered in my direction across the small umbrella topped table, "I heard Draco has been spending a lot of time with Hermione Granger lately."

My nails stopped their clicking against the metal surface. I was surprised she knew that, let alone had the audacity to bring that up. "They do business together."

Her smiled grew bigger as she flipped through the menu in front of her. "Oh, of course. Business is plausible."

"How do you even know about anything _my_ husband does with _his_ company?"

She chuckled, "Oh darling, I know a lot more than I lead on to. Blaise tells me things."

"And you felt the need to bring it up? That bored?" I bit.

The waiter came and took our drink orders. We were waiting for our husbands to return before eating. After the drinks had been brought back Pansy spoke again, "Well...aren't you worried? We're _suppose_ to be friends," she practically spat that word out. Our husbands wanted us to be friends and had tried everything to make us get along better. We had eventually called a truce...at least in front of them, when we were alone it was a completely different story. "I just figured this was something a friend should mention."

I couldn't contain my eye roll, "And why is that, friend?"

"Draco is like Blaise in many ways. Trust me when I say that I know your relationship isn't the picture perfect marriage that you two have painted it as."

"I don't know what you're talking about, we're very happy."

She gave a dismissive wave, knocking away my argument. "Right, that's why he's talking to Granger."

"Business," I reminded her.

"Maybe so but 'business' could mean a lot of things. Maybe even the 'business' of fucking her on his desk while his wife is in the same house."

My jaw dropped at her crude comment, "What? Why? NO! That's not what is happening," I spluttered out.

She shrugged, "You don't know that."

"Yes. I do." I narrowed my eyes. 

"Whatever, I'm just saying Blaise was the same way. I knew he had his bits on the side for a while. It's part of the life we wives choose to lead. It's very hard to get men to settle down, especially ones of the caliber of men that are our husbands."

"We're married, I think he settled down a while ago."

"I know you're young, but must you be so naïve?"

I glared at the ludicrous woman sitting across from me, "I'm only two years younger, Pansy."

"Regardless, you're stupid if you think he's settled. Very few things settle a man, and most of the time marriage doesn't do it alone."

I gave up, she was getting on my last nerve and I needed to shut her up. This was precisely why I couldn't stand her. She played these ridiculous little mind games. I knew that even though these things that she was suggesting seemed crazy now, later on I would wind up thinking about them. "Fine Miss-know-it-all, what is something that would make him settle down?"

She smiled, convinced that she had won. Fighting with her just annoyed me. It was a stupid waste of time and energy. "Babies." She rested her hand on her huge stomach, swollen with child.

"He doesn't want children," I heard myself mutter under my breath.

"No man wants children. Blaise practically detested our daughter before she was born. Clearly that changed." She nodded knowingly.

It really did shock me hearing that bit of information. Seeing Blaise with his daughter was so heartwarming it belonged on a greeting card. He loved his daughter and it was obvious he would do anything for her. "Really?"

"Really."

"Maybe I'll bring it up."

"I don't know why I'm helping you...but a child would make you fit in better with the Malfoy family. His parents were expecting an heir years ago."

"I know..."

"It should have happened by now. You should know how pureblood families work. Well...I guess yours was a bit different. You know, with your sister and all."

I knew she was referring to how my sister ran off with a muggle. Loving someone who wasn't pureblood was crazy to me. Purebloods and the others were like dogs and cats, too different.

My temper flared, "She was a fluke. Almost every pureblood family has one or two. Draco's own aunt is one."

Pansy's eyes darkened, "Draco himself might be one."

I stood up in shock, "You don't know anything Pansy, stop pretending that you do." I said in a raised voice before walking away. I ended up leaning against a stone building that housed the golf carts, fuming over what Pansy had suggested.

"I don't know Blaise, she's different." I heard my husband's voice as he walked out of the building, talking to Blaise.

Blaise's response was quiet, "It's still weird, man."

"You really have no idea..."


	6. Face Off

It had been a month an a half of seeing a brown, frizzy haired woman in my home multiple times a week. It started out slower, twice a week a most, but now it had graduated to five or six. It seemed that my husband spent all of his free time with Granger.

My husband who had taunted this girl relentlessly in Hogwarts. Who hated her simply because of her blood - which was a very good reason of course - and hated her friends possibly even more. He who thought she was an annoying know it all who never shut up. Now all of a sudden, here she was in my house. She was always around, or brought up in conversation. They were friends, a very strange pair of friends indeed. I didn't know how this had happened. What could have possibly flipped the switch on Draco? Hating her was in his blood, his pureblood blood lines going far back in their despise of the unpure. Hating her was something also taught, by his family, friends, tradition, and well...standards.

Suddenly...he was a very different person. There were times that I couldn't believe he was him, wondering honestly if an Imperious curse had been put on him. No longer did he look at these mudbloods with distaste. Of course he still believed that we were better, he must have! A leopard doesn't change his spots after all, just sometimes those spots may morph a little.

Meanwhile I was still being the perfect housewife. I started to cook more meals -being taught by the house elves - always be there for him, and tried to take interest in his business. There were times that I would see this glimmer of something in his grey eyes, and I loved it. Was it love there? It was becoming a stronger possibility. He was happier than I had ever seen him of the late and I knew it must have been because of my attempts to better our marriage. Right?

And yet, when I turned the corner into my kitchen I saw the too familiar figure standing with her back toward me.

"I'm beginning to think you're in my house more than I am myself," I stated coldly, surprising the woman.

She jumped slightly at my voice, "Oh, hello Astoria. Well yes, we spend a lot of time here since he has his office here. And since you're gone a lot..."

"I'm not gone that often," I allowed a slow smirk to grace my face, "I am the one here every night after all."

I saw her eyes roll.

Okay, time to ask the hard questions,"What exactly are your intentions with my husband?"

Again with the innocent and surprised look, much like a baby deer. "W-what?"

Flipping my hair over my shoulder and raising an eyebrow I spoke again, "Answer the question, Granger."

She bit her bottom lip, which I had unfortunately been around her enough to come to know that this was a nervous habit for when she was uncomfortable, "I don't know what you mean..."

"What are you trying to get from my husband." _Brightest Witch_ my ass.

She stared at me a bit before the innocent act was dropped, "We're just friends," Granger's eyes narrowed at me, her normally big eyes becoming tiny slits.

"Are you?" I countered.

I watched as her hands gripped the edge of the counter, her knuckles turning white from the force of it. She took a deep breath, calming herself before speak. "He's married to you."

"I'm aware of that." Duh.

"So yes, we're just friends. He's married."

"What if he wasn't?"

Her head tilted slightly, "wasn't married?"

"Yes, what if he wasn't married. Would you be just friends then? Just _friends_?"

Granger was quiet. She stared at her hands that had resumed their vice like grip on the counter. I was actually surprised the marble didn't crack. "Then this wouldn't even be an issue."

What? She couldn't be actually admitting to what I was thinking she was.

Before I could voice my opinion on the matter she spoke up, stopping my angered words that had built up on the tip of my tongue. "If he hadn't married you his business wouldn't have been as successful. Marrying you helped the Malfoy name become less tarnished, more people were willing to give him a second chance once that saw such a 'sweet girl' marry the likes of Malfoy. Without his business doing well he wouldn't have had legal problems. Without those problems I would have never been brought in. We probably would have never even spoke again. We would have gone about our lives thinking that each other was vile scum that plagued the world. We wouldn't have known that we both have changed so much. "

I stared at her, unsure of what to say. Her words may have been true. But I also knew my husband. If he hadn't of taken this business under his wing, he would have another one. He was a business man, through and through. So would she have been there for that business? I wasn't sure. The world worked in such funny and strange ways.

Granger's eyes flashed. "I know what you're getting at Astoria, and you're wrong."

I narrowed my eyes at her this time, "I don't know what you mean."

She sighed unhappily, obviously not wanting to be part of this conversation, "You think he's cheating on you."

I had entertained the idea. I wasn't sure if he was just overly friendly or if Pansy was right and he was in fact cheating on me. Her words have been resonating in my brain since we spoke. The ones she left me with on the golf course were bad, but it only got worse at her baby shower.

_Pansy caught me by the arm, "Didn't think you'd actually show up to this, Astoria." She looked at me with such distaste, like I had no right of being there._

_I had been trying to avoid her, which was obviously impossible since the baby shower was for her after all. "Believe me, it wasn't my choice. I'm only here because Draco asked me to."_

_"And of course you jump at every little word he says. Always listening to him. You really don't have a voice of your own, do you?" She sneered._

_I was getting rather sick of this horrid woman constantly in my face. She always had something to say about the way I was living my life. She really needed to be taken down a peg, or five. "This is how being a pureblood wife is, Pansy. Just because you are such a bitch to your husband doesn't mean that I am."_

_She went to talk again but I cut her off, feeling extra malicious today. Draco had skipped out on dinner the night before. He said he had work to do that couldn't be missed. The nagging thought that the work he mentioned may include Granger bothered me. So being annoyed with him, and Granger, didn't leave Pansy in the best of moods. In fact it left her in my wrath, and unfortunately I did have to bring her own husband into this. "I guess I can see why you don't respect him the way I have to respect Draco. After all he is 'Lord Malfoy' and I am a Lady. Meanwhile you are just...Zabinis."_

_She looked taken aback by my sudden outburst. It really was unlike me. I was quiet and tried to stay away from trouble, unlike most of the women I had to deal with in my daily life I didn't like to gossip or cause trouble. That's of course not saying that I didn't like to hear gossip. I loved knowing things about other people, it made me feel like I had more power._

_"At least my husband isn't cheating on me!" She screeched at me._

_"Neither is mine." He wasn't, there was no way. I was going to go on about how he once was. Everyone knew Blaise wasn't exactly faithful, and that didn't change until his daughter was born._

_"Oh yeah? Where is he now? Do you honestly think he cares if you come here or not? He probably only told you to come so he'd have the manor to himself! So he could 'work' with his little mudblood playmate. I'm pretty positive both of our husbands know we're never going to get along. You're this annoying little brat, you can't play with us big girls so you just cry about it when you get hurt. We're never going to be friends."_

_I rolled my eyes. Pansy would never let it go that I was younger than her, always treating me like I was a child. Well I wasn't a child anymore. "That's not what you said yesterday when you were trying to give me 'advice', advice I didn't need or want."_

_"Yeah, clearly that was a lapse in judgement. I didn't care if he was really hurting you, I just was telling you about it. Merlin, you are so naïve."_

_"Pansy, I don't want to be your friend. And you don't know anything about my marriage or my husband."_

_A grin that would have vanquished any doubt of her Slytherin origin appear on pug-like face, "Oh sweetie, I know Draco very well. Maybe even better than you."_

_I knew what she was implying, yes they dated in school, but that didn't mean anything now. "He's changed so much since then. Physically too, he's so much better now." I smirked right on back at her. I was feeling brave today, finally cracking._

_"Yeah, you're right," she nodded at me,"He must have changed, the Draco Malfoy I knew would never touch someone of such low-class."  
_  
My thoughts turned back to the immediate problem that was standing in front of me currently.

Granger was stiff, but then her shoulders slumped and she leaned her weight against the counter. "He's not cheating on you. I wouldn't sleep with a married man," she spoke in a dull voice. Her eyes flickered with something that made me think that she had entertained the idea once or twice. But did I believe that she really didn't act on it? The way she was acting, yes.

"Did you ever try?"

She shook her head slowly, "No. Never have, and I won't. We're just friends."

I trusted my husband, but I was starting to wonder if that trust was justified."And him?"

She seemed unhappy to give me this information, "He's completely loyal to you. He talks about you all the time."

I found this hard to believe. Why would he talk about me to her? "Really?"

"Really. There are times he'll mention that he feels bad, like he's neglecting you. Times where he thinks he isn't treating you as well as he should."

I nodded in response. I couldn't wrap my head around that. Draco felt guilty for treating me this way? So why did he keep on doing it?

"We work well together, we're compliments. But we both know where our lives are. You don't have to worry about it."

"Shouldn't I?"

She bit her lip, looking pretty miserable about this, "No. He's completely yours."

I stared at the woman and she began to fidget under my gaze. Though she seemed very uncomfortable, I believed her. He wasn't cheating on me with her...or hopefully anyone. But I could tell that she had feelings for him, feelings that she may not have come to complete terms with. I almost felt bad for her, it was just too easy for someone to fall in love with Draco Malfoy.


	7. What's love got to do with it?

Sitting at the breakfast table, being handed my tea by a house elf, I heard Blaise's deep voice echo slightly through the hallway, "You're losing your cool Draco, chill out."

"No," my husband growled, obvious annoyance was flooding his voice. "This is shit that was my past, and yet it keeps coming up. I try to change and they don't like that either. I can't win in this damn world."

"The past is always with us," I heard Blaise say something pretty wise, which was always a nice, but scary, change from his normal joking attitude.

"Will my past never stop haunting me?" I heard the sound made of flesh hitting a wall.

The wall was fixed with magic, making a popping noise."It haunts us all, we all manage. This is no different."

An undignified sound came from him, "This is my job, my livelihood, it's not a game for whoever this is."

A deep sigh came from Draco's best friend."It also has the Malfoy name attached to it. The business was ingrained with dark magic, and you took that away from it."

"You're not sticking up for these lunatics are you?"

"Of course not. I'm not justifying their actions, just trying to explain some possible reasoning."

"Hmm"

"No reason for the pity party. So stop."

Another growl, "you're right, my bad."

"And then there's your thing with Granger..." Oh? What thing?

"It's not a _thing_ , we're friends," my husband responded in a thin voice.

"Right," I could practically hear Blaise roll his eyes.

"Yes, right. I wouldn't do that to Astoria," the low voice of my husband trailed off.

Then Blaise asked a question eerily similar to what I had recently asked Granger herself. "What if you weren't married to her?"

A pause.

"Irrelevant."

Though this was an answer that held no real value, it still made me feel a little twang in my gut.

"It's kind of a thing."

"Shut up, Blaise."

* * *

Time to start the war.

"I overheard you and Blaise talking this morning," I stated carefully as I got ready for bed, crawling under the plush duvet.

He stiffened slightly and turned his head to look at me, his back still to me as he removed his shirt. "What did you hear?"

I decided to stick with the most prominent subject of their earlier conversation. "Someone is attacking the business?" Well...way to just throw it out there.

He sighed deeply, I wasn't sure if it was out of annoyance, exasperation, or relief. "You know we don't talk about work..."

"Well can we?" I looked at him hopefully, I just wanted answers, "just this once?"

"No," he growled, already done with this conversation.

I reached out for him to come closer but he ignored me completely, standing at the foot of the bed glowering down at me, "Draco, please?"

"No."

"Why not?"

He looked at me like I was incapable of rational thought, "It doesn't concern you."

"It affects me too, Draco." It did, this business was a large part of my life as well as his. Though what was more important to me was his own welfare. I knew he wouldn't look out for himself. Instead, he would do whatever it took to make sure the business went unharmed, he wouldn't care what would happen to him. That truly frightened me, because I cared deeply.

"No, it doesn't. We're fine."

I could tell by his look that he wouldn't be discussing it. The fire that was burning in me to discover what he was hiding, what he was fearing, was burning brightly, but I allowed him to simmer it for the night. "Fine."

And that was the end of it for the night.

But sometimes a girl has to do what a girl has to do. The next morning Draco told me that he would be gone for most of the day. For once I was happy to have the distraction of Granger. I was assuming that he had brought her into this, even though it wasn't something he would talk to me about, so I figured that was the reason he went to meet her somewhere instead of her here like normal.

I had never been in his office without him being in there, it wasn't a place I had ever had any interest in. Yet I found myself sneaking into the large room, constantly on the surveillance for his reappearance or some warning to escape before being caught. But there was none. I was in the clear, he was gone.

Quietly I walked over to his desk, noticing that it was uncharacteristically messy for his work. When I would find him working late, there would be papers scattered like this, but it was always cleaned up straight after he had finished or retired for the night. Draco just wasn't a messy person, he was much too meticulous about things like that. The paper seemed to be haphazardly hidden under others, like he was trying to move them out of sight quickly before someone could see them. Had someone been here this morning?

I tried to move the papers carefully after attempting to memorize their exact positioning. I would later try to put them all back the way I had found them, never letting Draco know I had been there in the first place.

I saw scrabbled notes. Then I found the letters, the wax seals broken.

Written in beautiful writing, old writing, were threats to the business. But not only the business, but to him. This shocked me completely. Who would threaten Draco? He has been nothing but wonderful the past few years, maybe even a little too wonderful as of late.

Then as I read on I understood, him being a better person is what these were about.

Letter after letter said the same thing just using different words, and some in different handwriting.

_"Disgrace to the Malfoy name."_

_"Traitor."_

_"Give up the business."_

_"You don't deserve the business."_

_"Plenty of worthy people to run it."_

_"Your mother must be disappointed."_

_"Almost as vile as they."_ They, I assumed, meant people of unpure blood. This made my own blood boil, no way was Draco unpure. He was after all, part of one of the few families that were still pureblood.

Those were tame compared to some of the things they described would happen to him, or what they themselves would do to him.

The letters were disgusting to read. Whoever these people were clearly didn't know him that well, and they clearly wanted the Malfoy business. I scanned my brain to try and think of anyone who would do such an awful thing but it came up blank. And it only stalled on Pansy's name for a fraction of a second, I knew she wouldn't do this.

Who wanted the business? Well actually...who didn't? It was increasingly successful every day, and whoever owned it also got all of the perks, bells, and whistles that came along with it. And the money, so much money. Enough money to make desperate people do desperate things.

This is the only way I could make sense of why someone who do something so cruel like this.

I continued reading, even though there were many times where I wanted to slink away and pretend like I had never seen any of this. It certainly was tempting.

"Hey, kid," I heard a familiar voice speak from directly behind me, "What are you doing?"

I jumped, causing papers to scatter from the desk, floating onto the floor. "Nothing!"

"Right," he looked me up and down, then rolled his eyes over to scan the mess I had just caused. A quick upward flick of his wand and the papers picked themselves up and placed themselves back onto the desk in neat piles. Too neat, he would know I was there still. But from what I had found it wouldn't mater anyway, I was going to have a talk with him about all of this. I needed to.

"What are you doing here?" I tried to act innocent, even though I had been caught red-handed.

He chuckled softly, "Draco asked me earlier to come check on you."

"Why?"

"A few reasons," he stiffened for a second but then regained his normal blasé posture, "he must have figured that you would do something like this."

"What? I would never...usually."

A shrug, "I think he knows you better than you think he does. He knew you were suspicious about what was going on. "

"What _is_ going on?"

He waved a hand at me, "Sorry kid, that's a discussion for you and Draco. And uh...good luck with that."

"Thanks..." I decided to change the topic, bringing up an age old "argument" between Blaise and I. "Will you ever stop calling me that? I'm an adult. A two year difference is hardly enough to make me a kid."

This received another deep chuckle, "now you should know the answer to this. No it won't. You'll always be 'kid'."

Though I did pretend to hate the nickname - and well sometimes I kinda did actually hate it - I also found it endearing in a way. Blaise and I got along, it was just his she-devil of his wife that got to me.

"I need to talk to him."

"You do. He'll be back late tonight, he'll have had a rough day...so go easy on him." Blaise tried to look out for his friend. Too bad I had much different plans for my husband.

When Draco did get back I cornered him. He looked worn out, like he had been fighting his own war all day, yet here I was to finish the one started last night. "Draco we need to talk about this."

He groaned loudly,"No we don't".

"Yes."

"I'm not in the mood to do this right now." His eyes flashed, cool gray spearing me.

"I snuck into your office. I saw the papers. I'm not stupid Draco, though right now I could really use to be educated on the situation."

"You did what?" He was pissed, but hey so was I. Maybe I was in the wrong to do that, but he was in the wrong as well.

"Damn it, I am you wife! You need to tell me about things that are going to affect not just me, but you too. Things that will affect _us."_

He looked beaten, which wasn't a look that I had ever seen him have, "Just stop worrying about it, it won't affect the Malfoy fortune."

My eyes narrowed at his implication, "what are you saying?"

"Nothing."

No, I was pissed now. "That I'm only with you for the money?" How could he possibly think that?

He squirmed uneasily, not wanting to look me in the eye as he confided my accusation."Well...that's usually why someone would want to marry into the Malfoy family."

I huffed out an angry breath, "Well, you're wrong."

"Am I?" A blonde eyebrow arched in disbelief. Really, why was this so hard to believe?

"Yes."

He looked at me, as if seeing me for the first time. "Why are you with me?" He knew that my family had gone through a hard time when my sister did what she did. He probably figured that I was married to him simply for the money and to save face. If only that was true.

I shrugged, not knowing what else to say I told him the truth, "Because I love you."


	8. Oh Baby

"Why?" He looked at me, studying my face. It was rare that people told him that they loved them. And usually if someone did it wasn't about loving _him_ per say. More about loving things that involved him, or things that one gained by being involved with him. People loved him like they hated me. There was no foundation for the passionate feeling, yet there it was. So many women hated me simply because I was married to the man. Though the general public still did believe we had a perfect marriage, there were plenty of women who wanted my place. No way in hell. Because I actually loved him, I loved him for him, not for being a Malfoy.

I shrugged, "I don't know, I always have. "

"Always? Since when?"

"Well I loved you forever. But I fell in love with you after we were married and I got to know you for the person you really were.

"Why would someone be in love with me?" He mumbled, more to himself than I me. I don't even think that knew I could hear.

I just shook my head. He didn't even know. All of his life he had women throw themselves at him, but I knew none of them loved him. How could they? They didn't even know him. They all wanted the money and power that went with his surname. "There are many reasons, Draco."

He smiled slightly, "really?"

"Really really," I smiled back.

And then, like a light switch had been flicked, he gave me his signature smirk. The smirk he had perfected even before his Hogwarts years. "Well of course there is, I am Draco Malfoy after all."

I sighed in amusement, "what am I going to do with you?" I giggled.

"Well apparently, love me."

* * *

My fingers traced over the _Malfoy_ scripted in thin ink on an envelope's face ,"So these letters, who are they coming from?"

"I don't know," Draco shrugged. He looked angry. Obviously he had been trying to figure this out.

"How long have they been coming?"

Again a shrug," Just a little while."

"How do they get here?"

He sighed, I knew he didn't want to talk about this... "Different ways. Sometimes its an owl, but never the same owl twice, sometimes it just appears in places I will see them, sometimes people deliver them to me."

"Who?" Could these people be the writers?

"A secretary, or colleague. The letters seemed to be left for them to give to me."

After a moment, "Are you worried?"

He raised an eyebrow, "obviously, but not for myself. They can't hurt me."

"You're not as invincible as you think."

"We'll see about that," he winked at me.

"Draco..."

He smiled, "Astoria."

"Really...what's going on? Why is this happening and what do they want?"

"I don't know what's going on Astoria. Believe me when I tell you that."

"You must know something. They seem angry."

"I think they may want my business."

I rolled my eyes, "ya think?"

His own grey eyes narrowed at me, "Yes".

"But who could this be? And how do they think they can get away with it?"

"I don't know..."

None of the answers I needed could be provided by him, he was just as confused as I was. What if they came after us next? Our wards were perfect, impenetrable. I didn't worry about anything happening inside my home. I only worried about what was out there. This person could be lurking around any corner, waiting for their opportunity to strike. Without Draco in the picture the business would fall into the hands of his father. So would his father be next?This seemed unlikely. The older Malfoy was terrifying. Still...if the person doing this was as gutsy to start something this crazy, they probably wouldn't have to hard of a time finishing it.

A cold shiver ran down my spine.

"Draco..." I started.

A blonde eyebrow rose, "Yes?"

"Stay here more," I knew it was an odd request but I needed it. I wouldn't be comfortable until I knew he was safe.

"What?"

"Stay home more," my voice was softer than I meant and I saw him lean in to hear me better, "I won't be able to stop worrying unless you're here."

He smiled slowly, "Oh sweetheart, you're okay in here. It's safe, I promise."

It was rare he ever promised something. He didn't like going back on his word, so he often wouldn't give me it. "No, I'm not worried about me. I'm worried about **you**."

He chuckled, "I'm fine, I can handle myself."

"Please?"

He wrapped his hand around mine, "really, I'm okay. Don't worry about me."

"Please?" I tried again.

He sighed reluctantly, "Will it make you feel _that much_ better?"

"Yes!"

Again he seemed reluctant, his eyes darting around the walls of the room. His eyes resembling those of a caged animal, no doubt already feeling enclosed, claustrophobic. "I'll stay here more, but not always. I have things to do. I still have my business."

"And you'll keep it, but I would rather have you lose that than your life."

"You're being over dramatic," eyes rolling, "that won't happen".

"Just stay more please?"

"Okay," he pulled me closer to him, hugging me to his chest.

The rest of the evening was spent together, doing nothing of importance. But that was what was important.

I loved our moments where we were just us. Just Draco and Astoria.

Laying on the couch, watching as the fireplace that wasn't connected to the floo popped and burned. My head was on his chest, listening to the steady heartbeat that always seemed to put me to sleep. Dozing on and off peacefully we spent most of the night.

It was late when Draco spoke again, "What if we went away for a while?"

"Hmm?" I mumbled, still asleep as he traced lazy circles across my back and over my shoulder blades.

"We haven't vacationed in a while. We're under a lot of stress right now. Maybe we should get away?" He muttered back softly.

"I don't think that's a good idea."

"Why?"

"I'd rather stay put." This was the first time that I had ever declined this invitation. I usually jumped at the chance to go someplace new. I loved to travel.

"I just thought that we could leave, go someplace no one would be able to find us for a little while." He shrugged from under me.

"After this blows over I would love to...but for now I just don't feel comfortable leaving." This was the truth, something just didn't feel right to leave.

"Okay, hopefully this blows over soon," he smiled down at me as his eyes fluttered shut again. Moments later I felt his breathing slow as he fell back into the rhythm of sleep.

I soon followed his lead and fell into my own slumber.

_Dreams of tiny feet and hands plagued my dreams. Pastels, baby blues and pinks all flashed before my closed eyes. A little girl with blonde ringlets bouncing, wobbling on chubby legs. Or the flashes of a darker haired boy, but still pale like his father. The word "Mum" coming from a set of sticky, pink lips. A child's laughter. Cuddling up next to the warmth of a tiny person, their head resting on my chest. Animated babbling as they attempt to learn our own language. The last image was of a tall, pale, blonde man with his arms wrapped around a small bundle in a soft white blanket. That's the one that killed me._

I woke up to tears flowing from my eyes, drenching the shirt that my husband was wearing. He noticed when I woke up and shot a curious look my way.

"What's wrong?" He was never good with tears, never quite sure how to handle me when I shed them.

"N-nothing," I stuttered out.

Unconvinced he asked again, "What's really wrong?"

I stared at him a bit, his blue-grey eyes, blonde hair, and pale skin that would show up in my dreams. But these features would grace another, a smaller person who was only half of his own DNA. "You've heard it before." I muttered so brokenly I was shocked that he understood.

"Well tell me again."

I sighed, what was the point? I knew his answer. "I want a baby." I spoke softly, waiting for the painful sting of rejection.

"Astoria..." Ah here it comes.

"I know, I know. You don't want one, I'm very aware, painfully aware."

"I want children," he muttered under his breath. I doubted I heard him properly.

"No."

"Yes."

"Then why won't you have a baby with me?" Suddenly a realization dawned on me, "Do you just not want a baby with _me_?" What a horrible thought.

"No! Of course not, you'd be a fantastic mother."

I looked at his soft gaze, softer than ever before while haven this conversation. Usually his face was harsh and full of anger when I brought up the baby topic. "Would I?"

"I think so," he smiled sadly. What was I missing here?

"Then why not?"

He stared, "we've had this conversation."

I sighed, knowing that I had lost again. "Okay."

I nestled into his arms, but I was rather stiff, no longer feeling as comfortable as I just did a few minutes ago. It was quiet, too quiet. I could hear the hands tick on the grandfather clock in the corner of the room. Eventually I decided it was best to get up and just move. To not be near him as I mourned the loss of something that never existed. 

Eventually I heard him shuffling in the room that I left him in, pacing the floor. And then with a creek of old wood he was standing in the door frame, worrying at the inside of his cheek. He broke the silence after an awful amount of time that had dripped with dread. "Astoria?"

"Yeah?"

"Come with me," his voice was stiff, but soft. 

"Where?"

"The bedroom."

I figured he was just sick of the couch, it was pretty late and it was time for bed. It had been a long day. "Okay."

He pulled me close as I went to cross his path, "Do you want to try tonight?"

My face scrunched up in confusion, "Try what?"

He smirked, "to make a baby."


	9. Curiosity

Dread filled me, weighing me down until I felt like my own skin would crush me, causing me to implode into myself. I turned over the soft paper of the envelope in my hand. _D. Malfoy_ written in a thin cursive hand, the same hand that had been used when writing _A. Malfoy_ on a very similar envelope.

I didn't know how these two envelopes got to me. I was out with Draco's mother, unfortunately shopping for presents for the newest addition to the Zabini family. Though I hated the little girl's mother, I did have to admit she was adorable. The trip was unbearable. Another month of "not this time" had fallen upon Draco and I. Another month of hope only to be crushed by the wrong color line and unwanted bloodshed. A sad smile and a "we'll try again," from Draco was all I allowed myself for comfort.

Shopping for a child was the last thing I had wanted to do but Narcissa practically dragged me out of the house by my hair. She didn't think it was healthy for Draco and I to be inside our home as much as we were. We were safe there. We didn't worry about the letters because they came less often now that we stayed home more. We also spent more time together, more time being husband and wife. It was lovely, I hated breaking the spell (figurative spell of course) that seemed to have been cast on us.

Yet there we were shopping for new baby things, unnecessary of course since she already owned everything a baby could ever want or need. We spent the day shopping and even went out to lunch. There were a few times she would drag me through a crowd and that is the only explanation I had about how these stupid letters could have found their way into my purse. The thought that I had been that close to the possible person who was making these threat to my husband chilled me to the bone.

Discovering the letters nearly killed me. I was home alone since Draco took this opportunity to get out himself. He told me that he was going over to congratulate Blaise. I was happy for him to and asked Draco to tell him so, but I couldn't help but feel sorry for myself. They had two children, why couldn't I just have one? Sometimes when I was feeling extra bitter I would wonder if Draco was just humoring me. I wondered if he was actually casting contraceptive spells and not telling me. But around the same time every month I would catch him giving me these hopeful glances. I think he really was starting to come around. Could I have possibly gotten through to him?

I had waited until the next morning to read my letter, not wanting to do it while I was alone. Frankly, I was terrified of what it could contain.

And I was right to be, but not for the reasons I would have thought.

The letter contained a small, folded piece of paper and two photographs. The letter was short and seemed to be aiming towards comforting, but it was anything but.

_"Astoria,_   
_Now don't you worry my dear, no harm will fall to you. You have done nothing wrong. It is your husband at fault. I am reaching out to you to enlighten you on just what your husband is up to with hopes that in turn you will help me. I simply want Mr. Malfoy to stand down, step away from his position. He has tainted the name and business that the Malfoy family has worked so hard to keep pure. Money of course will not be an issue, the heir has much coming to him. With him no longer in this position he will have more time for you and less time for the more undesirable aspects that have come along. I hope you consider my words."_

The pictures enclosed were of Draco with Granger. Somewhere deep within me I knew they would be the second I noticed that it was in fact pictures included. The first one was of Granger reading something from a ridiculously large book. Draco was standing behind her, his face close to hers, so close that a strands of her hand touched his neck. His one hand was placed on her wrist, his long fingers wrapping easily around her smaller wrist. It was completely possible that he was just moving her arm, or something similar to that, but it looked bad in the picture. It was not something horrendous, but it was enough to make me feel uncomfortable. The second photograph was of the same two at dinner, or possibly lunch. It wasn't a fancy place, very casual actually. His jacket was off and she had a heel dangling from her toes under the table. The body language projected from both party showed that they were very comfortable with each other. They leaned in toward the other and both had smiles gracing their faces. Draco was smiling broadly, a site almost unseen by me until more recently. She looked as if she was laughing over something. The briefcases by the feet of their chairs made it seem as if this interaction did start as business, but it certainly hadn't been when this picture was captured.

The pictures made me uneasy, I refused to look at them longer than necessary before shoving them back into the envelope that they came in. I was sure that the pictures were just taken at compromising times. And honestly, neither of them were doing anything really wrong in the pictures. But, I still couldn't help feeling hurt.

So now I had the problem of giving Draco his own letter.

My thoughts of how I would give it to him were cut off when I heard a door slam.

"Where the fuck is she?" I heard my husband grumble as he walked at a brisk speed down the hall, heading for the stairs.

I peeked my head around the corner, not being able to stop myself, "Looking for Granger?"

He startled slightly but almost instantly regained his composure. "Yes, do you happen to know where she is? We had a meeting two hours ago. It's not like her to be late."

"No, it's not. Maybe she forgot?" I offered even though I knew that wouldn't be the case.

He rolled his eyes at me, "Yeah right."

"Are you really that concerned? I questioned, unwanted images of those photographs popping up into my mind.

"Yes!" He blurted out.

"W-what?"

His eyes widened as he realized what he has just admitted, that he was concerned about Hermione Granger. He gave a heavy sigh, "I mean… it's just that in some of my letters...they threaten her. Whoever is sending them doesn't like the fact that I'm working with a muggle born."

"Tainting the name and business," I mumbled, thinking to myself about that line of my letter.

His eyes flashed, "what?"

"That's what the letter said," I answered still deep in thought.

"What letter?" He questioned anxiously.

I shook my head and came back to reality, "I got a letter from him. He said you were tainting the name and business. He asked me to have you step down, to watch you." I wasn't going to mention the part about Granger just yet.

"Why didn't you tell me?!" Clearly he was angrier now, but that anger was rooted in fear. But fear for who was the real question. Me? Himself? Granger?

"I just got it yesterday and didn't read it until this morning. Someone put it in my bag while I was shopping with your mother."

"What does it say?"

I looked at him confused, "I told you…"

"Anything else?"

I fidgeted under the intensity of his gaze, "He told me not to worry, that I wasn't endangered."

"Can I read it?"

I went into the room and retrieved his letter instead, "Actually...you have one too."

"And this came with yours?"

"Yes…"

"Why didn't you give me it? This is important. You can't just hide this shit from me!"

"You'd hide it from me though!" My eyes narrowed at him. I knew he would have. "You didn't even want me to know about any of this. What would I have done if I had gotten this letter without knowing what was going on? I would have been ten thousand times more terrified than I was, which was still a lot!"

He snatched the letter from me before tearing it open. I watched grey eyes scan over the words written. I watched as they grew wide and panicked as he dropped the paper, letting it fall slowly to the floor.

"What's wrong?"

His voice was quiet, "They have her."

I could only ask "what?"

"He has her, he has Hermione," his eyes darted around the room, "He'll kill her." 

"You don't know that..."

His eyes snapped up to meet mine. "Yes I do. And I have to go get her."

I swallowed hard, but spoke without thinking, all emotion. "Why do you have to save her? From what I hear she has some pretty heroic friends."

He sucked in air, "And as much as I don't want to, I'm going to ask them for help. But I have to be the one to get her, the letter says so."

"You've got to be kidding me."

He looked frustrated, "No, I know you probably don't like it but...it's something I need to do, okay? Just...just trust me on this. Please, Astoria." He didn't give me the chance to reply, instead he took off back toward his office. He resurfaced about 5 minutes later, an envelope of his own in his hand, no doubt addressed to Harry Potter. He rushed toward the owlery, murmuring to himself.

"He'll be here in a few minutes, I asked him to come and I have no doubt he will," Draco spoke as he walked back into my view. "He knows about what was going on. I made sure that she told him that she was being threatened and why." 

"Awesome," I replied dryly, my voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Be nice," he sighed at me.

I threw up my hands, "you hate him Draco, our kind hates him."

He raised an eyebrow at me, looking shocked. "Our kind?"

"Purebloods."

He looked at me like he was staring at a stranger. He spoke slowly but sharply, like speaking to a misbehaving child, "Astoria, I don't hate him because of blood status, I only hate him because he's arrogant and annoying. He's a half blood, but that has nothing to do with me hating him. I just hate the fact that because he takes all this credit for being the chosen one, when in reality it wasn't him doing most of the work."

"No, it was precious Hermione fucking Granger who did everything wasn't it?" I glared at him before turning my back to him and walking downstairs, wanting to be away from him for the time being. I knew I was being slightly unreasonable, only slightly, but I couldn't help it. Why did he have to care about someone else this much? We he do the same for me? 

He followed me down the stairs, but didn't reach the room I had sat myself down in before the sound of the floo caught his attention.

Great, I officially had Harry Potter, boy wonder, in my house. I waited by myself for a while but my curiosity was killing me, so I snuck to a spot where I could hear their conversation more clearly.

"Who has her?" Potter's voice boomed, echoing off the walls of the large room.

"I don't know yet, but I'll know when I go and save her...I'll kill the guy."

"Get in line," the angry voice said, "How don't you know? What is going on? She mentioned she had received some threats...but unfortunately that's not entirely out of the norm."

Draco sighed again, most likely realizing that Granger didn't really do as asked from him and tell her friends everything. "I've been getting these letters for a while from an anonymous source. They clearly think I'm dirtying myself associating with her. They seemed to have taken matters in their own hands now."

A heavy pause. "Can I read it?"

I heard a crumple of paper as Draco passed the letter to Potter. After a long moment Potter spoke again, "Why is it you that has to go?"

"Because Potter, it's me they care about, not her. They are disappointed and obsessed with the way I am running my business and handling the Malfoy family name. It's all about me. Hermione is just an unfortunate pawn he's using to get to me."

"Why do you care about Hermione?" I heard Potter ask, clearly not believing Draco could ever want to help the muggleborn. "I know you two have been working together...but this is strange."

"We've become...friends."

"Friends?"

"I really mean no harm to her, hell just the opposite." He was quiet a moment before a pained voice spoke again, "When I saw this letter I almost died right then and there. I'll do anything to make sure she's safe."

What was I hearing?

After another pause I heard Potter's voice again, "Seems like you've grown rather fond of her."

"Yeah, something like that," Draco responded with a sad chuckle. 

Curiosity killed the cat and I might as well have a tail and whiskers. 


	10. Emotions

He couldn't possibly go and rescue her like some damsel in distress. It wasn't his job to rescue her, letter be damned. He was my husband, but it seemed like everything he did revolved around her. I wasn't asking for his constant attention. I liked my own space as well, but I wan't his attention some of the time. Sure, he had been so much better lately -especially since we've been trying for a baby- but I still felt like I was sharing him. And I didn't share.

I crept along the wall, listening as Draco and Potter discussed more of what they were going to do, trying to figure out the best way to get this done. To save Granger as well as nab the guy behind this. Potter was head auror now, not that that was a shock because honestly what else would Perfect Potter do? Of course he would be handed the job.

They still needed to catch this guy, and maybe finally Draco and I would be left alone. Maybe things would go back to normal. No, better than normal. But I also knew that with Hermione in the picture I wouldn't get that. I wouldn't have my own marriage back, my own life, until she was gone. Hell, maybe I should have handed her over to this guy a long time ago. A cruel thought but this was what happened to the mind of a scorned woman.

I cleared my throat, "Don't go," I stated as I made my presence known.

"What?" A very confused Draco asked me, standing from where he had been sitting.

"I said, 'Don't go'," I repeated.

"Why?"

I crossed my arms, standing in front of him, "Because I don't want you to. Potter can go get her. He is her friend, not you."

He rolled his eyes, "I'm her friend, Astoria."

"Since when? I thought you were just working together?"

His temper was obviously rising. I could tell he was getting sick of answering all of the same questions from everyone in his life. "Since we've spent a lot of time together. We gave each other another chance, is that so terrible? People are finally starting to see me as a normal person, instead of this terrible death eater."

That seemed strange, "Are you just using her for the good publicity then?"

Potter's ears practically perked up, I noticed from the corner of my eye as I stared directly at Draco. I kept my steady gaze even as Potter spoke, "Are you? Because that is low. And now she's in trouble because of you."

He threw his hands up, turning to Potter, "Of course not! We're friends. If I was just using her for the publicity then I wouldn't be rushing to save her."

I narrowed my eyes and waited for my husband to turn his eyes back to me, "You're not her knight in shining armor, Draco. You're not suppose to be _her anything_."

He looked angry, brows furrowing, "And why is that?"

"Because you're my husband" I screeched, "You're my husband but all you ever do is spend time with her, or talk about her. I've heard the things you've been saying to Blaise, and what you just said to Potter. You have a _thing_ with her that everyone seems to notice. And you just told Potter how fond you were of her."

"Astoria..." He tried but I cut him off.

I was like an aged wine bottle that had been shaken, ready to explode.

"No! Do you even have any idea what Pansy has been saying to me? The reason we've been getting into more fights lately? Because she keeps telling me that you're sleeping with the little _mudblood_! Is this true? " I watched as he flinched at the word mudblood. And that pissed me off more. There were times where that word was used in everyday conversation. Hell, he was the one who called Granger that all through school. He was the one who hated her, made her life horrible. What happened? "Are you really cheating on me with _her_? Hermione know-it-all, goodie-two-shoes, golden trio Granger?" The cork had burst off, the insides bubbling over. I didn't mean to spew all of that out at him but it had happened, and I didn't regret it. I needed it out there.

"No," he growled out through clenched teeth, his jaw moving as his teeth gnashed together. "I'm not sleeping with her."

"Are you sure? Because Pansy is making a pretty convincing argument. And the signs are there Draco, all of them." I was still yelling.

"I'm just going to...go to another room..." Potter mumbled as he shuffled out of the room, neither Draco or I really noticing.

"You won't have a baby with me. Is she why? Has this been going on longer than I thought?" The anger was turning to tears now, but I refused to let them fall.

"No, of course not. I want a baby." He looked confused, "We've been trying lately. Have we not?"

"I don't know, have we? Getting pregnant isn't this hard. It happens on accident all time. If it's not happening for us there has to be a reason."

Again, he looked confused, "What are you trying to say?"

"I don't know, you're probably making it so we can't have kids. Why don't you want to have children? Why? You know how badly I want a child, why can't you just give me this one thing?" I was sobbing loudly but no longer cared.

He moved away from where had had been leaning against a chair, "Astoria..." He spoke softly as he walked toward me, his face was soft, sympathetic. His emotions had been on quite the roller coaster tonight.

"No, go away. You want to go, just **go**!" I pushed him away as he got closer.

"Stop, please," he seemed...hurt?

"Go!" Tears weren't able to be stopped as they rolled down my face now.

He put his arms around me, even after I kept trying to push them away. "Stop," the too calm voice terrified me. "Please just...we're going to have to sit down and talk later about some stuff. Okay? I just want to clear the air of...well, everything. As much as I don't want to admit it I understand why you are thinking the things that you are, but I promise you that I'm not sleeping with Hermione. I am married, she wouldn't do that and neither would I."

I sniffled in response, "but...there's something there."

He stiffened slightly, but calmed again quickly, "We'll talk when I get back okay? I just...I can't waste any more time. She needs me."

"I need you too."

"No you don't, love. You're so much stronger than you give yourself credit for," he smiled warmly at me.

I shook my head, not believing him. When had I ever been strong? I just did everything that was expected of me. It was a rarity that I stood up for myself and was too shy to do anything without the consent of someone else. I wasn't strong, I was as broken as a rider's horse. "Fine, then I want you."

He kissed my forehead in response, "I need to go. It's not an option, not up for debate."

Potter must have known that the worst was over because I vaguely registered him sneaking back into the room.

I stared dumbly, silent as my husband detangled himself from me. He pulled my hands away, hands that had fingertips that would probably leave small bruises on the pale skin of his upper arm.

"Ready?" Potter mumbled, standing before the floo.

"Yeah," Draco shook his head, clearing the softness from his attitude. His next tone was rough, " Let's go."

I watched as Potter stepped into the fireplace, calling out the name of the place they were going before throwing the floo power and disappearing amongst the vivid green flames. Draco stepped in after him, but paused to look at me. "Sorry," he mumbled, "this is just something I have to do."

I tried one last time, one last thing, "But...I love you."

He smiled that sad smile I was getting too accustomed to, "And I love you."

And then he was gone, just dying flames left in his wake.

It was the first time he had ever said those words and I didn't know how to take it. Part of me was elated, ecstatic even. So happy to finally hear those three words that I had been dying to hear since I was basically a child. But...there was another part of me that didn't believe it, not fully anyway. The signals I was picking up from him were contradictory. Mixed signals. I was confused.

The only thing I was sure of was that the discussion we would be having would not be a fun one.

* * *

Well there I was again, on the wrong side of 3am. This is about the time where I give up and accept the fact that I won't be sleeping that night. I watched as the clock on my nightstand change its digits repeatedly. That hollow feeling in my stomach and the annoying dread I felt for the morning that would be coming in just a few short hours. The darkness outside didn't seem that dark anymore, knowing that the sunrise was closer than it should be. I knew tomorrow would be hell, I'd barely get through the morning as I would try to fight against my heavy eyelids. By afternoon I would go in either one of two directions. I would either be passed out somewhere -for some reason this "somewhere" was never my bed - or I would randomly get this burst of crazy energy and want to run a marathon, but this would lead to a even worse crash. There was no winning against this.

But I couldn't sleep, there was too much on my mind. It felt nearly as heavy as my eyelids but clearly outweighed their need for sleep.

Sighing I looked over at the empty spot next to me. I knew he wasn't there but looking at the lack of him made me miserable. How could he not be there? How could he still be gone? What was taking so long?

Two things played at my mind, two scenarios. The first one was technically the worse of the two. It was that something terrible had happened to Draco. He could be seriously hurt, bleeding and captured by this crazed man that had been sending him these threats for so long. I hadn't just not wanted him to go because of Granger, it was also because I was worried about him. You would not have seen me going to meet and probably fight the man sending me threats like that. But surely I would have heard from Potter. He is not that dense to leave me in the cold, out of the loop when my husband was gone on this dangerous trip. And there could be no way for one man to take down both Draco and Potter. Though I didn't want to admit it, Potter was obviously a decent wizard. And Draco was fantastic. One man couldn't hurt both of them, right?

The second scenario was that he was perfectly fine and had rescued his _friend_. Rescued her and then she "thanked" him for it. Could he be with her now? Possibly sharing a bed and filling her lonely half of the mattress? I hoped not. I really, really hoped not.

Finally I decided it was time to put me out of my own misery, time to shut my brain down for a little while. I got up and walked to the medicine cabinet in the bathroom. A small, unhappy smile drifting across my lips as my fingers grasp around the small neck of the sleeping draught.

I wouldn't have answers to any of these questions until the morning and I didn't have any intention of being awake to think of more questions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Emotions are hard and everywhere. And everyone in the story just feels a little uncomfortable right now. But somethings gotta give...


	11. Him

Light filtered through my eyelids. Waking up I felt stiff, like I had been pinned down. In a sense I guess I had been, the sleeping draught forcing me to sleep even when my mind didn't want me to. Eyelashes brushing against the tops of my cheeks, I fluttered my eyelids open. The room was drenched in the early morning sunshine. It would have been peaceful if it wasn't for this eery feeling I couldn't shake. I rolled my eyes over to the empty spot on the other side of the bed. No Draco...still. Pulling myself up into a sitting position I looked around the room.

A scream erupted from me as I took in the dark figure standing in the corner of the room. I scrambled to move away from the figure, throwing the duvet to the end up the bed.

A low chuckle sounded from deep within the man's chest.

"Who are you? How'd you get in here?" I screamed, hearing my voice echo off the walls in the eerily quiet house.

"Now, now Astoria. Is that any way to treat a guest?" The voice was vaguely familiar, but I just couldn't place it. The man's face was hidden behind a mask, somewhat similar to what death eaters wore in the past.

My eyes scanned the room for an escape route, there was none. "You are not a guest," I bit back.

"Oh that is where you are wrong, my dear. I have been a guest here many times. You, yourself have even welcomed me into your home."

This couldn't be true, could it? Could I have ever let someone so vile into this house? "Who are you?"

He held up his hand, taking another step closer to where I was sitting against my headboard."Tsk tsk, time will tell. But, until then you must be patient. Though that has never been your strong point has it?"

"You don't know anything about me."

I could see half of a smile, "Don't I?"

"No."

"You're name is Astoria Malfoy, formerly Greengrass. You were two years behind Draco, a fellow Slytherin. On a more personal note; You like your tea with two lumps of sugar, though Draco always forgets and only gives you one. You can't sleep on your back without having night terrors." He paused for effect, and it worked. How could he know such intimate details? " Your sister was this little twit who played games with the minds of great wizards and ended up running away with a muggle. Stupid girl." I saw his eyes roll through the holes in the mask. "Your parents were devastated and thus threw you into a marriage with Draco, someone who was trying to bring back the pride of the family name. Surely marrying a pureblood would help that right? Right. It did. He was a success. The Malfoy name was on top again with most of society. Everyone wanted to be on the happy couple's good side. Your anniversary party recently was a perfect display of that. But I know that all of that was just for show. Your relationship isn't nearly as perfect as you want everyone to believe. The baby thing for instance. Yeah, you know what I mean."

"What...how?" I tried, barely able to find my voice. How could he know these things?

"But then Draco screwed everything up monumentally. He couldn't just be happy with his pretty little wife," the cheeky, sick bastard winked at me. "No he had to have something as a guilty pleasure, something toxic that is ruining everything he had worked for. " He looked at me, "Oh come now, don't look at me like that. You know he's with her now. He may not leave you for her, I don't think he's _that_ stupid, but the thought must have crossed his mind. And I know you're worried about it."

"H-he's not. He told me he wasn't."

"People lie."

"No..."

"Yes. Here, watch." He tossed a black object on the bed at my feet.

"What is it?" I eyed it warily.

Another dark chuckle, "I had security cameras watching the place, I watched as your precious husband swooped in and saved the day. This is the tape. I thought you might be interested in seeing Draco be so brave."

"I don't want to see this."

He came closer, all the way to the foot of the bed. "Too bad." A wave of his wand and there was a screen come to life. The white, fuzzy noise and picture stopped as a black screen took its place. It soon was replaced with a soundless black and white image of Granger unconscious, tied to a beam in what seemed to be a warehouse of some sort. Then out of the corner of the screen came Draco, rushing towards her. Potter was behind him, his eyes running over the room. Looking for the man that was at the foot of my bed." I looked up, he was still staring at me, a smile on his masked face.

"It gets better," he spoke as he pointed back down to the screen.

Reluctantly my eyes followed his finger, looking back at the screen. Granger was free of the ropes now, cradled in Draco's arms as he tried to wake her up. He was unsuccessful and you could practically feel the pain that was written on his face. He pulled her close to his rest, his head bowed. I watched as his lips moved in silent words against her hair. He called Potter over, in a panic. Draco was rarely like that, always calm, always in control. Potter took over that role, trying to calm Draco down as well as as wake up his friend. A spell was cast, then another. Nothing worked.

I didn't look up this time, "Is she...?" I didn't know how to feel about that possibility.

"Dead?"He almost laughed, "Sadly no, they rushed her to St. Mungos. It was just a Cruciatus Curse, or two. Nothing she hasn't experienced before. Though this time it may have hurt a bit more. That's where your husband is right now. With another woman, at her bedside, hoping with these sad eyes that she'll be okay. He's there instead of being back here, protecting his wife."

The video showed Draco picking up her body, carrying it out of frame with Potter close behind. Watching this encounter felt dirty, like it was too intimate for me to have seen.

"She's not dead, and he isn't hurt. But next time I may not be so kind."

"Don't hurt him."

"He's already hurt himself," his eyes narrowed, "Now if you don't excuse me, I'll be on my way. I look forward to the next time we meet. Who knows what the circumstance may be."

I watched dumbfounded as he simply walked out of my bedroom door. I heard his polished shoes clicking against the stairs, listening carefully I heard the front door shut. How had he navigated the manor so easily? Even a guest wouldn't have been able to do that. It took me months to not get lost here.

I didn't move the rest of the day, staying in bed. I was sitting up straight, my back aching, with my arms wrapped around my knees.

I just waited.

Around 1pm I heard a noise. Someone else was in the house.

I was terrified.

The kind of terrified where goose-flesh breaks out across your skin, leaving it chilled and sensitive. Every noise is magnified, allowing it to ring in your ears. You hear things that might not even be there; footsteps, breathing, a door opening.

That kind of fear is what gripped me.

But no, those were definitely real sounds, I heard doors opening. Feet coming down the hall. I felt like I was suffocating, not able to move from the spot I was in. Just a sitting duck watching, waiting. The door to the bedroom opening was the next sound I heard over the pounding sound of my own heart.

I watched in horror as it opened slowly, I could make out the shape of a man through the crack of the door at first. Had he come back? Why? For what?

"Astoria?" A different voice said. It wasn't him!

I sighed in relief at the sight of the man standing in my doorway, "I'm so happy it's you."

"Who else would it be? And why are all of our house elves stunned in the kitchen?" Okay, how had he not found that odd enough to come rushing in here?

I raced over to my husband's arms, momentarily forgetting all that was wrong with _us_. "There was a man. It was him. He was here!"

Draco knew what I meant, who I meant. "Are you okay? Did he hurt you?"

"No, no. I'm fine. He just came here to warn me." I didn't realize I was shaking until he held me tighter.

"Warn you about what?"

"Everything," I said trying to brush it off until later when we finally had our talk, not wanting to speak about how he had warned me about Granger...again. "Just wanted me to let you know that next time he would't be so kind."

"He was anything but kind..." Draco trailed off in a low voice. "The coward wasn't even there last night."

I shook my head, going on to explain. "He was just there when I woke up, he was just waiting. I have no idea how long he was there, watching me sleep." The thought scared me, chilling me to the bone. _Who_ was this creepy man? "When I got up, he just appeared from the corner of the room and started speaking. I was terrified, I just froze up. I sat there as he spoke about what happened last night. He watched you, even though you thought he wasn't there. He watched you. I have the tape from the security camera. He watched you!"

"He watched me?" Draco's face fell.

"Yes," knowing the reason why his face drooped. He didn't want me to see that.

He took a deep breath before changing the direction of conversation, clearly thinking the same as I had about waiting for the conversation later, "How would he have gotten in here? These wards are so strong."

I put my head in my hands, "I don't know, but he was here!"

"My father himself put these wards up...it's all old magic."

I squirmed at what he may have been implying, "You don't think..."

"No," he shook his head, "of course not. He works with me nearly every day, if he had a problem he would have talked to me about it more than the few muttered annoyances he has spoken."

"Okay..." though I wasn't one hundred percent convinced. This could be a warning, his father may not have liked me, but I knew he hated Granger even more than I did. He wouldn't be nearly as accepting of her working with his son as Draco seemed to think. No, he had all the motivation he needed to do something like this. Lucius Malfoy wasn't exactly known for his accepting ways, but he was known for his rash decisions made when he thought his family was in danger. Whether that danger be real danger or just danger to the family name. The letters talked about Draco handing over the business. Who else would he give them to other than his father? Sure his father was aging and couldn't run the business alone, but he would be able to find a replacement for Draco eventually. Someone who may have the same ideals as Lucius.

Draco's low voice interrupted my thoughts, "So...we need to talk."

"Yeah," I spoke softly, knowing that this next conversation determined so much of my future, of _our_ future, "We really do."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...any ideas on who he might be? Do you think it could be Lucius?
> 
> (Fun fact: On my repost, even I didn't even 100% remember who it is and I wrote the damn thing! Like I said, it's been like 10 years...)
> 
> Next chapter has their talk in it. Hope you enjoy :)


	12. Gone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just letting you guys know that this practically killed me writing this. There's a lot of uncomfortable topics wrapped into one conversation. Don't hate me, please?  
> Reviews are much appreciated.

We relocated so we were both sitting on opposite sides of our bed, I resumed to my near fetal like position while he perched on the edge of the mattress. Close enough to be touching, but not.

He brought his arm up, running his hand through his hair. "I'm sure you watched the tape, huh?"

I nodded slowly and he responded by sighing.

"I felt... dirty while watching it. It...You looked devastated when you found her. "

"I was."

"Why? I get it now that you're...friends, but you looked like your world fell apart."

He responded in a soft whisper, "It almost did."

"What's going on Draco? No more sugar coating. I just want the truth."

"Astoria..."

"The truth! You owe me that much!" I growled out, angry again. I was going to get whiplash from the mood swings I was having. Scared, to sad, to angry. And I was sure that would changed again.

"When you asked if I was sleeping with her, it was an easy answer; no. I haven't slept with her. I wouldn't do that. Not to you, and not to her." He looked ashamed, not wanting to meet my eye, "But if you had asked me if I was cheating on you...well that would be more complicated of a question for me."

What was I hearing?

"Hermione and I haven't done anything, not even kissed. I swear to you I have not cheated on you physically. But mentally, emotionally...I'm just not with you. Not always. There are so many times where I find my mind drifting off into thoughts I shouldn't be having."

"Are you cheating on me?"

"It's not that easy..."

"Yes it is. Yes or no. Are you cheating on me." I could feel my own eyes burning into him.

"No...t really," he shrugged, looking defeated, "We've never done anything. I swear."

There was more, "But?"

"But, I have these feelings for her...and they won't go away." This was clearly hard for him to admit. He'd always been so in control of his emotions and it seems like he was finally losing to them.

"Try harder!" I yelled out, him admitting his feelings for her made everything worse. How could he do this to me? How could he fall for someone else when I was right here, waiting all this time for him to fall for me. And just when it seemed like he might, in she swoops.

He watched me for a brief moment, seeing if I was going to go on. "You don't deserve that."

That stopped me, "what?"

He looked down, "You don't deserve that. You don't deserve this..."

"What do you mean?"

He brought his head up to meet my eyes, "You deserve someone who loves you as much as you love them, someone who couldn't ever bear the thought of losing you. Someone who looks at you like you are his start and finish of life. You deserve to be cherished and challenged...and happy."

I swallowed the lump in my throat. How could such nice sounding words hurt so much. Tears started to come silently, not sobs, no shaking, just silent tears. "And...you're not that man are you?"

"No. I'm sorry, but I'm not. I wanted to be. I did really try to be these last few months, I promise I did. But...I can't stop what I feel. I wish I could just turn it off and on like that but...I can't. And when it came to possibly losing this person that these feelings have developed for...it just made me realize that you deserve someone who would feel that way about you."

"And you don't...you don't feel that way about losing me?"

He was picking at his cuticles, tearing at the skin. "I don't want this to sound harsher than it has to." He looked at me slowly, softly. "If you left me I would be sad...but I wouldn't be devastated. I like your company, you're a great friend. Being married to you has treated me well. I'd miss you. But...my life wouldn't end."

"You would move on." I finished his line of thought. "And you know who you would move on with," I stated, it wasn't a question anymore.

He saved me the pity of lying, "Yes."

I didn't know what to do anymore. "What if we just took a break?"

"No."

"No?"

"Breaks don't work." His sad smile barely moved his mouth, "I wouldn't want you holding on to something that wasn't going to come back. I wouldn't come back."

"So you're leaving." My chest felt like it was collapsing.

"I'm sorry," he muttered.

"Are you!? Because if you were sorry you wouldn't have done this!" I didn't care if that didn't make perfect sense.

His voice was angry and sad at the same time, a strange tone. "It's not that easy! You can't help this kind of thing. Don't you think I tried? I didn't want this to happen. I've been battling these _stupid_ emotions for a long time and I just can't do it anymore. I wish I could love you the way you need me to, but I can't. I'm so sorry, honestly, truly sorry. But I just can't do this anymore."

"Why her? Of all the women in the world to leave me for...why her?"

"Astoria..."

"What could she possibly give you that I couldn't?"

"It's not about that."

"What is it? What made you love her in such a little time when you barely even liked me for over a year of marriage? What is it?"

He stayed quiet for a long time before realizing I was truly waiting for an answer. I needed to understand, even if it hurt to. "Hermione and I are so alike, but polar opposites. Her intelligence gives my own mind something to strive for", humble this one, "we have the same type of humor. But then we're like the classic Slytherin vs Gryffindor. She's a little crazy, but in this intriguing way. She's like...a really good book. You know when you just can't put it down? And when you're finished with it, even when you think you know all of it's depth, you look at it again and realize there is just so much more to it. And no matter how many times you read that book there is something that excites you, and makes you feel like you're filling up the empty space inside you." He realized he was letting out too many things and stopped speaking abruptly. 

"You love her." I knew it was true, you can't say things like that about someone and not love them. I didn't truly understand the book analogy in order to grasp it perfectly, but I knew Granger would. I could easily see him sitting in one of the plush lounge chairs in the library - like he had so many time- with Granger by his side. And she wouldn't be bored or restless like I was. She probably loved arguing with him. I swear sometimes he picks fights for the fun of it, something I despised. Maybe...maybe she was better for him. Admitting that to myself made me feel like I was the one twisting a knife into my heart this time.

He nodded once, "It's a possibility."

I sighed deeply, not knowing where to go on from here.

He cleared his throat, "there's uh...one last thing. And it's worse...it's so much worse."

"Hmm?" I didn't know how much more I could handle. I was drained for the day, wanting to roll over and sleep...for about a hundred years.

"It's about the baby thing..."

Instant anger struck again, "Tell me you did not get her pregnant."

He put his hands up in defense, "I told you, I never have slept with her."

"Go on..."

"You... oh fuck..." he rubbed is face with his hands, "There is no easy way to say this. No way to prevent hurting you so I''m just going to say it and explain after okay?"  
He didn't get a response from me. I felt like I was suffocating. "You can't have children..."

My eyes widened in shock, not believing in what I was hearing. "I can't...I can't have children?"

"I'm so sorry, but you can't..." Draco himself looked like he was on the verge of tears.

"Why do you know this about me when I didn't? Why did no one tell me?!" I was outraged, how could I live all my life without knowing.

He shook his head, "We did."

"What?"

"We tried having a baby early on. I wanted a child...so bad. So did you. We would try and nothing would happen, again and again. Finally we went to see a healer about our problem. I thought it was probably me, I had dark magic tested on me so many times...I thought for sure that's what had done it. But, the healer came back after running tests on both of us and I was in the clear."

"But I wasn't..." Why couldn't I remember this? My mind felt fuzzy, a weird sense of almost dejavu.

"No, you weren't. They told us that you would never have children. Never would you even have the possibility of falling pregnant, much less carry the baby to term. Nothing could be done, no magic or even muggle intervention could help. Something to do with the blood curse on your family and the preventative measures they placed on you."

"Why can't I remember this?" He flinched, clearly not wanting to tell me. "Draco?"

"You...You didn't take the news well. Neither of us did, but we handled it very differently." He choked up, "You wanted to not believe them, to keep trying. You wanted the comfort and closeness only I could provide."

"And?"

"I wanted to lock myself away. I didn't want to touch you at all. I didn't want to talk anyone, I just merely existed alone in my old study for the longest time. I even slept there. I got angry at you easily when you were just seeking comfort. Eventually you stopped coming to me at all. Before the end of the week disaster struck." Again he seemed to be choking up his words, his eyes traveling the room, his hands wringing. _Guilt._ "You broke down. You had an accident. A mix up of potions maybe. I still don't want to believe it was intentional and you were on so many different medications at the time...it would be easy to mix some up..." I don't know if he believed this...if I believed this. "I wasn't there to stop you. I wasn't even there to find you. If it hadn't been for the house elves you would have died. And I was too busy being angry at the world to notice."

That was a horrendous thought. I almost died? I didn't even remember it. I could see the immense guilt on his face. "Draco..." I put a hand on his.

"I'm so sorry..." he whispered.

"I know," I did know that much, even if I didn't know what had really happened, "Please just finish the story."

"When they got me I rushed you to St. Mungos. They flushed your system to get rid of the potions. You were unconscious for two weeks as a precaution. I told everyone that we were away on vacation. When you woke up it was clear that most of your short term memories were erased. I honestly don't know if that was intentional from the healers or a side effect of the medications. We visited a few specialists, trying to recover as much as we could. You refused to remember anything about that appointment. You became violent anytime a memory like that threatened to resurface. Then you seemed to completely forget you were in the hospital, or that week before it. Specialists kept saying you were repressing memories that made you unhappy. You just wouldn't remember things like that. They said if I kept working with you eventually you would, that you could find them again through therapy, but I didn't know if I wanted you to remember. What if you did something drastic again? So when I asked you if you wanted to go and you said no...I just let you stop. And I'm so sorry for it...I failed you. I should have pushed you to get better." At this point the tears had started to fall, though he tried to hide them from me. I watched as he kept trying to suck in deeper breathes, his adam's apple bobbing harshly with each attempt.

My head was killing me. Every time I blinked it was like I was watching a movie. I kept seeing faded images. A healer's office, Draco's face in full rage, then in tears, a door slamming in my face, house elves teetering around me, the mirror showing my red-rimmed dead eyes, sickly pale skin, and lack of emotion, empty bottles crashing to the ground. I saw sideways as my arm came crashing to the floor next to my head with a sicking thud. Yelling, so much yelling. Quiet. Numb. Gone. 

I closed my eyes, letting my mind go to where it wanted so desperately to go. Bright lights, tubes running from my face, chest, and arms, Draco sitting in the corner of the room as he looked at the floor. He looked dead inside. Healers helping me walk, moving out of the hospital, new healers, new healers, newer healers. It was a slideshow of new faces, all saying the same thing it seemed.

Then it patched through to a real memory I had.

_I had just woken up and turned to my side, Draco was sitting upright and working on some paper work. "Isn't it a bit early for that?" I giggled._

_A soft sigh came from his lips as he turned to look at me. "Morning, how are you feeling?"_

_"Fine? Why wouldn't I be?" I questioned._

_"Good, good."_

_"Why are you so grumpy?" I smiled as I moved closer to him, cuddling into his side._

_"I'm not, I'm normally awake by now," his eyes didn't leave his papers._

_"Since when?"_

_"Since we had this conversation yesterday, and the day before that, and every day these past few weeks," I heard him mumble. It confused me but I didn't question it. Men were strange..._

That must have been the last day of me doing those repeated motions, losing weeks and acting like it was just the same day. How could I have ever been like that?

"Astoria?"

"It's all is just...it's coming back to me." I felt like a stranger in my own body. "I'm so sorry you had to go through that."

"If it wasn't for me _you_ wouldn't have had to gone through that."

"Why is it that no one told me?"

"No one else knows. Just you, me, and the house elves who have been sworn to secrecy. They weren't allowed to tell you. I pretended like I didn't want children. I acted like I was the one who decided that. I know it made you angry. I was just afraid of telling you. I was afraid telling you would bring you back there. I'm still afraid of that. "

"It's ripping my heart out knowing that I can't have children...but I will never take such extreme measures again. There are other options..."

"You're much stronger of a person now...after dealing with me for so long. I'm sorry."

"I'm okay."

"I'm still sorry."

There was a heavy pause. Emotions so thick in the air you could cut them, and yet the message of these conversations was still so thinly veiled. 

"So Granger can give you the Malfoy heir. Something I would never be able to..."

He flinched harshly, "That isn't it. Please believe me that that isn't it." He studied my face, "That's not why I feel this way toward her." Another pause. "But yes, if I'm being completely honest - which is something I'm trying to do here - some of these feelings that I couldn't feel for you may have to do with it. It has nothing to do with an heir. I want children. I want a family. No, I need a family. I need a family that isn't so fucked up like mine is. All these years it's the only thing I have ever wanted from you. Knowing that I couldn't get that one thing...it ate at me. Even though I knew it wasn't your fault, I couldn't help myself from feeling victimized. Then when I was the only one who knew that we could't have children it made it worse. You got to live in this obvious state where it was a possibility. I was stuck in reality where I knew it would never happen. I was resentful and bitter. We'd lost something but only I could mourn it and I had no one else who could understand. I'm sorry, it was terrible of me but I can't help it. I know we could have adopted. I know we could have done things differently. But," he had tears again, "but I'm a selfish man, Astoria. I don't know how else to put it. I'm selfish and wicked and my brain just wouldn't let me love you the way you deserved. And honestly now...when we started trying again...I was half relieved that it wouldn't work. Because I don't know if a baby would have healed this." He was ranting. "I'm not leaving because you can't give me a family. I'm leaving because we're not able to give each other what we need, which at the end of the day is happiness...and an honest love."

I was getting sick of tears that had been flowing down my face on and off, "I know. I-I understand. If the roles were reversed I would probably feel the same."

"I'm sorry," he repeated for about the thousandth time.

We sat in silence, taking each other in. We knew this was the end. The end of something we both had worked on for years. The end of the "perfect" marriage. Well, it had never been so perfect and soon everyone would see that. The press would go crazy, I almost smiled at that thought. They would eat this up. As would all these old hags that loved to gossip about us anyway. I looked over at the man I had spent the last few years of my life with, and practically all of my life wanting. He looked older, much older than his actual age. Maybe older wasn't the word. He looked...tired. Bloody tired. It was clear now that this was taking its toll on him as well.

It was quiet for a long while. Eventually I had to break the silence to get out of my own head. I had just learned some scary things about myself. I felt like I was breaking out of something... I felt different. My brain adjusting for the time lost. "So this..." I pointed between us, "this is over?"

He nodded gently.

"What now?"

"Stay at the manor as long as you would like," he started, looking at me, " I'm going to be looking for a flat somewhere, but you can stay here as long as you need. Hell you can have the place if you want it." I didn't. "We can discuss the finer details when you didn't just get an awful reminder thrown at you." 

Always looking out for me, "Thank you."

"I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry I couldn't be what you needed."

He reached out to me, pulling me to him in a firm embrace, "I'm sorry I couldn't be what _you_ needed. But I'm not just abandoning you Astoria, I'm here whenever you need me. I promise. And I'd like to be around until this whole ordeal with this psychopath is finished. And after that if you'd let me. I do love you, you know...it's just a different kind of love."

I nodded, a silent thank you.

We sat in more deafening silence for what felt like centuries, his arms still tight around me. But they no longer felt comforting, they felt like a cage. 

"I think that I would like to be alone for a while."

He gave me half of a smile, a slow, sad one that barely raised the one corner of his mouth. "I understand. Just don't be afraid to come find me if you need."

I pulled away from him and he slowly walked toward the door.

Then he was gone. Yes, he was only in a different part of the manor, but he was gone from me. No longer mine. Just gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah. That happened. Draco totally knows he's an asshole but also fertility issues are an awful thing and people handle things differently. The whole issue Draco has here is that he doesn't know how to process his emotions and inherently a little selfish. Also my heart hurts for what I did to Astoria...


	13. Broken

I groaned as I watched a house elf hide the morning's paper from me. I knew what that meant. It had been just over two weeks since that dreadful conversation with Draco. He officially moved out of the manor yesterday afternoon. He had said his goodbyes, awkwardly I might add, and was on his way with some help from Blaise. Blaise himself didn't seemed shocked when Draco told him, instead he shot Draco a "told you so" look and went to packing boxes magically. I noticed Draco throwing many of his more prized possessions in a small, purple bag. Was that a purse? And how did so many things fit into it?

I knew Blaise would run off and tell Pansy. Which is probably how the Daily Prophet got wind of this.

"Dotty, please just bring me the paper...and all of it, " I drank tea this morning, coffee no longer belonging in the house.

"But Mrs. wouldn't like what's in there!" The little elf squeaked out, hiding the paper behind her back, "Dotty is just protecting the feelings of Mrs."

Another groan escaped my lips, unladylike as it was I no longer cared. I wouldn't be the proper pureblood wife for much longer. "I need to read what is says, okay? Just give me the papers."

"Dotty will do as Mrs. says, but Dotty will not like it," she had a rather sour look on her face as she unwillingly handed the papers over to me. I knew she was just trying to keep me happy and couldn't be mad at her for that.

"Thank you Dotty."

I looked at the headlining story. 

_**MALFOY MARRIAGE CRUMBLES** _

"Great...off to a great start." I sighed and continued reading. 

I saw a picture of Draco moving into what I presumed to be his new home. Underneath the story continued.

_Draco Malfoy was seen moving his possessions into a flat outside of Wiltshire yesterday afternoon. While Mr. Malfoy was seen with plenty of moving boxes in his hands, he lacked a wedding ring._

I looked down at my own hand, the sparkling diamonds of my engagement ring and wedding band catching the light. He took his off? Already?

I skimmed over the story.

_Astoria Greengrass-Malfoy is said to still be living at Malfoy Manor for the time being._

I narrowed my eyes at the stupid author of this story. My name was not, is not, hyphenated. Thank you very much.

_The way I see it, Mrs. Malfoy found out about a bit that her husband had on the side. Rumor has it that he has been spotted numerous times with none other than the Golden Trio's Hermione Granger. Malfoy and Granger have been working as close business partners recently. Has this become more than business? Mrs. Malfoy certainly seems to think so._

Ugh. Rita Skeeter was the most annoying woman alive. She never got the full story, or even 1/4th of the story really, before she would run off to write it. Anything that would make a quick galleon was what she went after, no matter who got hurt in the process. She had always been batty, but in her aging years she had gotten much, much worse.

"Dotty told Mrs. she wouldn't like this," Dotty said as she peered up at me.

I simply nodded my head at the small elf, ignoring her otherwise.

Taking my tea into the living room, I sat down to read the full story. Before I could start to do this I was surprised by the green flames of the floo network coming to life.

Out of the fireplace walked none other than Narcissa Malfoy. How bloody perfect.

"Narcissa! What a...pleasant surprise." She was not who I wanted to see right now.

The second she was out of the flames she was yelling at me, "You kicked my son out of _Malfoy_ Manor?! The home he was born and raised in? Who do you think you are?"

"No! No, just calm down and listen," I put my hands up as a white flag, surrendering.

She looked even more outraged than before, her normally pale face turning an unflattering shade of red, "I do not need to calm down, you need t-"

"Let the girl speak Cissa," a cold voice sounded from behind her, cutting her off.

Oh this was just brilliant. If today wasn't bad enough. "Hello Lucius."

"Explain yourself,"a frigid response. I no longer had Draco here to protect me from his father's wrath.

I sighed for what seemed like the millionth time that day, "I didn't kick him out. He left."

Narcissa's eyebrows furrowed, "and why would he leave the Manor?"

"He didn't just leave here...he left _me_."

"So is this garbage true?" Lucius asked as he flipped open the Daily Prophet that I had practically thrown when the floo had surprised me.

What could I tell them other than the truth? "Yes. Well minus the part where I kicked him out. He chose to leave, eventually I will too. I just need some time to get my footing."

"He is with that filth now?"

I flinched, yes I had called her some terrible names too...but not with the malice that Lucius Malfoy held. I nodded, not being able to find my voice just yet.

"He left you...for _her_?" Narcissa asked, seeming to not believe me.

"Yes, I think he loves her," it felt like I was regurgitating hot coals as I said those words.

"Impossible, no son of mine would stoop that low," Lucius growled, picking up and slamming the end of his cane into the floor, causing objects around the room to rattle.

I glared at him, "Well clearly your son did."

"This is your fault!" He growled at me, sounded much like his son when he was angry, maybe just a tad more terrifying though.

I mentioned how over being the perfect wife I was, right? How about perfect daughter-in-law? I yelled back at him, "How so?!"

"You wouldn't produce an heir, so he looked elsewhere. He's just too stupid to find another pureblood, but this is your fault."

"You know what..." No, this was it. I was done with the crazy family. "You're right Lucius, it's my fault we didn't have children. Because I can't."

"What?"

"I can't have kids, can't get pregnant. It's never going to happen. I thought he refused to have kids because he didn't want them, instead he acted that way so I wouldn't feel bad. I wasn't aware I couldn't have children, but he was. He spent all that time protecting me from you. He didn't tell you because he knew what a bastard you would be about it. You'd just say how it was my fault. Do you think I want to be broken? To not be able to do something so basic simply because I was born that way? I'm still a good person, I'm still a good witch. You go around judging everyone for things they can't control."

And that's when it hit me.

I was a _hypocrite_.

I had spent so much time hating muggleborns simply because they were born different. But now here I was, yelling at Lucius for doing the same thing to me.

I don't think I'd be to the point where I could love a muggleborn, but I was starting to see why Draco could overlook it. Because...it didn't matter. Ugh, now they were making me rethink everything. This was not the time to have sudden realizations, I've had enough of those for a while. My little epiphany only derailed me for a moment, "But don't you dare call Draco stupid. You know damn well he could have any of these pureblood _whores_ with a snap of his fingers. If anything he got smarter. He stopped caring about blood status and actually found someone who doesn't care about his money or his last name."

Narcissa spoke quietly, "Are you saying that's all you cared about?"

"I wish," I muttered angrily, "No, I was here for _him_ , I loved him, love him. But he didn't...doesn't love me. At least...not like he should have. Not like I needed him to...and not like _he_ needed to."

Lucius looked shocked, but clearly he was the stupid one here because he continued to try to argue with me. "You could have made it work."

Today was the day I got a backbone. "Oh shut up, he didn't want to stay with me." Well I better get it all out now. When would I get an opportunity like this again? "I'm sick of being your verbal punching bag, Lucius. You have no idea how bad this hurts. I was literally _just_ thrown away for a mudbl-" I stopped, "muggleborn." A harsh breath and slowed speaking, "A muggleborn took my place. The only man I have ever wanted my entire life left me. And you both come in here and act like I have personally done something to you. If you have a problem you can go talk to you son. Because for once, you can't blame me. This isn't what I wanted."

Narcissa looked like I had just slapped her in the face, Lucius looked completely calm. I could see the anger boiling inside him, but he kept his composure. Because really, what was there to say?

"I think we should leave Narcissa," his cold voice broke the tense silence.

"W-what?" She questioned.

"Now."

She didn't struggle as he grabbed her arm and pulled her toward the floo.

No goodbyes were uttered but I caught Narcissa's eyes just before she vanished in the flames. A look of pity. Just what I didn't want or need.

I stayed in the living room for a while until I made my way back into the kitchen to eat my feelings away. The house elves were silent as they fixed me breakfast, which was nearly lunch by then. I was still mourning the loss of the life I had known, but something in me felt a little free. I had just stood up for myself against one of the scariest people in my life. My emotions were all over the place as I found myself smiling, even if I could still feel the long dried tear stains on my skin. I looked at those dreadful papers once again, before setting them ablaze in the the middle of the table. I couldn't help but laugh. 

Thinking that perhaps a walk in the garden could clear my head, I set out to do as such. Somehow I got lost in my own head long enough that the sun had moved across the sky, it would be dusk in under an hour. But, I had convinced myself that I would be okay. I even toyed with the idea of writing my sister, the reasons of our feud no longer mattering in the light of everything. I would need someone...and was sure she needed someone all along. 

I made my way upstairs to change from my walk, looking at each room that I was considering moving my belongings into. It felt too weird sleeping in our bedroom alone. But then I stopped abruptly outside my door when I heard a noise. A tiny pop, foot fall? Whipping my head around I surveyed the hall, nothing. Just my imagination. Being stuck in a giant place like this, alone, could do that to you. Especially after the morning I had.

I couldn't shake the unease I felt as I moved to my closet, skin prickling. I bent down to take off my shoes, and when I stood up I caught movement in the mirror.

A deep voice hit me, "Draco really fucked up this time."

I fled, trying to get out of the room, my hand just hitting the door handle to be quickly was ripped away once the handle turned red hot, burning the palm of my hand.

I saw the tip of his wand glowing the same color of the door handle. "Tsk-tsk, now don't try to escape. I have plans with you." He spoke softly, similar to how he spoke last time. But last time he didn't hurt me. "I thought taking his little mudblood would do the trick, clearly I was wrong. But his wife that he has just recently abandoned? That might do the trick."

My insides seemed to ice over, "He left me." I didn't understand.

A dark chuckle, "And he feels bad about it too, so if something were to happen to you...he would know it's his fault. It would just eat away at him indefinitely. He's such a sensitive soul now. Weak."

"Who are you?"

Half of a smile appeared behind the same mask that he had worn last time, "Would you like to know?"

I nodded slowly, what else was I supposed to do?I watched as the hood fell back from his robes, lifting the shadow from his face. Slowly he peeled off his mask as well, letting it fall to the floor beside his feet.

"It won't matter anyway...you won't be around much longer."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes I alter what I want to write because I'm afraid people will think that because I had a character say something, that I personally feel that way. I didn't this time. So I really, really just have to say two things.  
> 1\. I don't slut shame, so "whores" isn't something I say with malice in my real life. Astoria is just making a point.  
> 2\. That I don't think women who can't have kids are "broken." Every body is different and there are many ways to be a mom. (I'm adopted for instance.) I just know that this is something that women often say about themselves when they have fertility issues and it felt really real in the moment to write it that way. She hasn't really had time to process everything yet. And if it is something you're dealing with personally, I really hope stories like mine don't hurt you and that you get the baby that you deserve, one way or another.


	14. Happiness

The mask bounced off the plush carpet twice before stilling, "Surprised?"

All of the obvious guesses about this masked man were dead wrong. I had really believed that it was Lucius Malfoy. He had the perfect motives for this sort of thing. I had even entertained the idea of Blaise. I was hard to believe that Blaise could do something like this, but I knew he would be in line for the position if Lucius needed to hire someone new.

But, no, it was just another face that had been in our lives for so long. One that was easily overlooked because he played such a minimal background role.

This was Edgar, son of a previous business partner of Lucius. He always seemed a bit odd, but was nice to me. Maybe a little too nice... It seemed he spent a good share of his time trying to get under Draco's skin. I always just thought it was just a childhood rivalry. He attended every function held at the manor since he was a child, as he was a few years younger than Draco himself. To me he had seemed like a fairly decent fellow. Obviously I was wrong.

"Edgar? Why?"

"Why? You've always been a foolish girl, must everything be spelled out for you?" He sighed dramatically, "I never liked Draco, the little prat would constantly need to one up me. He was given everything and he just threw it away. The Dark Lord wanted him to complete a task so easy, and _amazing_ task...and he didn't do it." He was getting more and more worked up. "Then he was given another chance and again is wasting it." He rolled his eyes as if this was obvious. "I would do a much better job than Draco. All I needed was for Draco to give up his position. I would offer my services to Lucius and of course he would take them. I would bring my family name back into glory. The reign of Malfoy is coming to an abrupt end."

I shook my head, "You could have just asked Draco for a job if you wanted it this bad."

He laughed, "Ha, like he would ever give me one. Draco hates me."

I doubted Draco even so much as thought of Edgar in the past 10 years...doubtful. "Clearly not as much as you hate him," though I was terrified I also felt a bit more at ease now that I knew who it was. Even though I should't have.

He glared at me, moving forward but I jumped out of his way.

"Why hurt me? I can't control him," I questioned.

A twisted smile, "Oh sweetheart, you're just a pretty little pawn in this game between men."

My hand found my wand in my pocket, wrapping my fingers around it tightly I thought of a new plan of action. Clearly this man was crazy, but no one was here to help me other than myself.

He saw my action and quickly disarmed me and pushed me to the ground with a spell. "Draco will regret not listening to my warnings. If he doesn't listen after this...then I'l have to kill the mudblood. If he is still too dense to listen it will just have to be him. I don't know who I will enjoy killing most. His will be satisfying, but this is just too much fun." He smiled as he placed the edge of his wand to my throat, I felt the unnaturally sharp edge of a cutting spell break my skin. I felt the warmth of blood seep slowly from the thin cut. I screamed out in pain, but he just laughed and place his wand now at the shallow skin that covered my collar bone. I tried to fight him but it just lead to the wand cutting deeper than intended, resulting in another scream.

Footsteps in the hallway caused both of us to pause. He roughly placed a hand over my mouth, daring me to make a sound.

"Astoria?" A feminine voice called. We both stilled.

"How perfect, look who decided to join us," Edgar whispered as he leaned down. He obviously knew who was out there. I could feel his breath on my face as he tilted my head toward the door so we could both watch as the unsuspecting victim could walk into his trap.

"Astoria?"

A knock on the door came quickly.

"Tell her to come in," he whispered moist air into my ear. He pointed his wand at the door, cooling the heated handle that had scalded my own palm before.

I was reluctant, but what else was I to do? "Come in..." I whispered.

The handle turned slowly. As it opened I saw one of those stupid kitten heels of hers enter the room. _Granger._

"Hello?" Then she looked down, a horrified gasp escaping her lips. But she didn't have time to respond after that, for a muttered spell and red light was thrown at her. She ducked just in time, the light only hitting her left shoulder, cutting open her shirt and flesh. "What the..."

"Expelliarmus!" Edgar shouted as he pointed to Granger's wand, I watched as it flew to the side, rolling across the carpet.

Granger looked just as petrified as I did for a moment, but then a look of determination covered her face.

"So you're the letter man, huh?" She never got a look of him when he captured her, did she?

"That I am. Happy to see the face that tortured you?"

"Happy to see you? No," she glared at his smug look, "Happy to have the chance to kick your ass? Oh yes." She clicked her teeth together. Hmm..

Edgar laughed loudly, "without a wand? Good luck with that. You might be a _bright_ witch, but you're still nothing without your wand."

"Ah, that's where you are wrong," It was her turn to laugh, "Without a wand, I'm still a muggle. And muggles handle their duels a little differently." She gave me a pointed look. What?

_OH._

"Is that so?"

"Indeed it is," she smirked, one that reminded me way to much of my husband. But, instead of channeling that anger that bubbled up on the woman who was trying to help me, I decided to listen to her and channel it onto my captor. I turned my head sharply, sinking my teeth into the skin of his forearm.

Caught by surprise, he yanked himself away from me, toppling over in the process. Granger used this moment of his weakness to attack. Picking up her wand on the way, she came over to bring her foot down onto his rib cage. Hard. I heard a sickening crunch of something shattering. Were muggles really this violent?

He cried out in pain, kicking out his one leg. It hit her in the shins and she tumbled down next to him. He moved over her, clearly the adrenaline of the situation allowing his body to keep moving through injury. "You bitch!" He raised a hand and let it fall, leaving a red welt across her face.

I took my chance and grabbed my wand.

"Oh no you don't," he yelled as he pulled me down to the ground as well. And then his wand was at my neck again. He eyed Granger as he held me captive, "Do try anything or she gets it."

Granger smiled, she actually smiled. Maybe she was just as sick and twisted as this guy...

She pulled herself up to lean against a wall, one leg obviously hurting and a blacken bruise forming on her cheek. "Why should I care?"She laughed, "If something happened to her it would be easier for Draco and I, no nasty divorce to work through. And honestly people will feel bad for him that he lost his perfect little wife, that him dating me won't seem as bad." Her icy eyes panned over to look at me. 

What?!

He didn't believe it, "Then why would you come charging in here?"

She raised an eyebrow, "You attacked me already, remember? I was just returning the favor."

"So this has nothing to do with her?" He dug his wand in a little deeper and I whimpered.

Granger rolled her eyes, "Why would it be? She hates me, I hate her. I just happen to hate you more. I could always take care of her myself afterward. And then blame it all on you. No matter how this turns out, I win."

What was going on here?

He seemed to ponder this, looking away from her and at me instead. She gave me another one of those pointed looks before he looked back at her. Did I listen? It worked in my favor the last time. And I wasn't exactly in the best position to argue. So, not knowing what exactly she wanted from me, I just...flailed. Just hoping to at least catch him off guard.

Apparently it worked because I saw her pull her wand out from behind her back and yell out, "Stupefy!"

Edgar's limp body fell to the ground, pulling me down with him. I pushed him off of me as soon as I could and raced to get away.

"Hey, Hey!" I heard her call from behind me but I was already nearing the stairs. "I'm not going to hurt you! Astoria, really!" She seemed almost amused. Yeah, not really selling her point. "Okay, just stop, look I'm putting my wand down."

I turned and watched as she did as she said, placing her wand in front of her on the ground and taking a few large steps back.

"So that was all for show?" I asked, still a little terrified of her.

She smirked, "Yes. It worked though didn't it? Most people do these terrible things quickly, if you get them talking it slows them down, gives them time to think about their actions. Even if that doesn't work it gives _you_ time to think about yours."

She really was smart... "And why didn't you become an auror?"

She laughed, "I'll just leave that one to my boys." She reached down to pick up her wand, "Hold still, I'm just going to heal these cuts."

I let her, even though I was wary to have another wand so close to my damaged neck. When she finished I sighed in relief.

She headed toward the stairs, "I'm going to use your floo. Don't worry I have him in a full body bind, so when he does wake up from being stunned, he can't go anywhere.

Very smart.

I watched as she flooed the Ministry, an auror telling her that Harry would be notified as soon as possible and that they were sending others down now.

She moved into another room quickly.

"Happy thought, happy thought, happy thought," I heard Granger mumble. Finally a smile came to her face and silver poured out of her wand. The mist took the form of a playful otter, sliding and jumping through the air. She muttered something to it and then the little otter bounded away, off to relay the message. She turned around, surprised to see me watching her. "Oh! I didn't know you were there," she smiled sheepishly.

I nodded in response and we both went back to where Edgar was bound on the floor.

When he did wake up we watched him struggle, madness in his eyes, and both of our wands out until the aurors came.

"Should I just stun him again?" She glared at him, clearly remember the amount of times he used an unforgivable on her.

"That won't be necessary Miss Granger, we got him," an auror came through the door.

We both made our way downstairs, watching the aurors work by trying to stay out of the way, a good distance between us in the large living room.

The floo roared to life and out sprung Draco.

"Hermione?!" He rushed over, "Are you okay, what's wrong? Why are aurors here?" He rushed to her, enveloping her in his arms the second he reached her.

She smiled up at him, snuggling into his chest, "I'm okay," then she pulled away from him slightly, "we're okay." She nodded toward were I stood on the opposite side of the room.

"Astoria," he sighed in relief. 

I shrugged, "Yeah, I'm okay." Physically at least. "It's just been an eventful month."

"You could say that again." He pushed his fingers through his hair, "I just moved, haven't even been gone a day..."

"I know, and so did this guy. I guess the papers tipped him off." That made sense now.

"Of course they did. Who is it?" He seemed afraid to ask.

"You're never going to believe this..." I caught myself smiling. I turned and went into another room where the aurors were detaining Edgar, Draco and Granger had followed.

Draco looked shocked, "Edgar?" I could see the wheels turning in that blond head of his, "of course, now this makes sense. All of our lives he has always tried to obtain whatever I had, whether I wanted it or not. His father was so close to mine that it was probably easy for him to figure out our wards. How didn't I think of him? He went a little crazy when his father died in Azkaban.

"He seemed so nice to me, it's just so strange to think that it was him," I muttered back, letting an awkward silence to fall over the three of us.

After a while Draco cleared his throat and muttered something about him going to see the aurors.

And then there was two.

"I'm glad this is over finally," Granger smiled at me.

Not caring about formalities, I just wanted answers. "Why are you here?"

"Oh," her eyes went wide, "I could leave..."

"No, I mean why were you here?"

"I came here to...I don't know, just to talk."

Seriously? "No offense...but why would I want to talk to you?"

She sort of awkwardly chuckled, "I figured you would react like that. I thought there would be some type of fight tonight, I guess I got more than that though." Her eyes traveled to where the aurors were out of earshot.

I nodded, "Obviously."

"I just came to apologize...kinda. I'm sorry that Draco and you ended the way you did. I feel terrible for it. I just want you to know that neither of us wanted this, we tried to stay away from each other but...it just didn't work out that way. I can say I'm truly, deeply sorry that this hurt you."

My temper could have easily flared there but I let it go, " But not that it happened?"

She squirmed as bit at the question before speaking softly, "No..."

"I understand."

She looked relieved, "Good."

"So...are you and Draco a _thing_ now?"

She flinched slightly, probably remembering the times she had been accused of this before, "We're taking it slow."

I didn't know how I felt about that, "That's good I guess."

"I guess..." she repeated.

I sighed softly not wanting to speak to her anymore, but knowing I owed her something, "Thank you...you know for helping me today."

"You're very welcome, it was the very least I could do. I'm glad I came when I did."

I actually gave her half a smile, "Yeah, me too."

Another awkward silence fell between us until Harry came over, rushing to ask questions and make sure everyone was okay. Once he was satisfied that Granger's cut had been tended to and neither of us were in shock, or something similar, he moved away again with Granger following close at his heels.

I watched as she gravitated toward Draco, and he did the same to her. They came together like magnets and it was definitely difficult for anyone to break them apart to talk to them. I watched as she leaned into him slightly and he placed a hand on the small of her back, smiling down at her. Relief drenched his face, finally happy to be done with this crazy life we have been living. And I think that's what made this not hurt as much as I thought it would. As I watched him interact with Granger, I knew that he was happy.

And I think everyone deserves to be happy, even if I wasn't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's called GROWTH!


	15. Astoria

Eight months time, a new outlook, and a little bit of spite found me sitting on a sticky stool in a crowded pub in the very heart of Scotland. Now this...this was new to me. I had never socialize in such _uncivilized_ areas. But everything was changing for me and adapt I must. The move from Wiltshire to Scotland was overwhelming and I had no real plan when it came to what it would hold for me. I had simply chosen here because it was a place my parents weren't fond of. They whined a bit about me moving to this "brutish" land, but not nearly as much as they were just _devastated_ by the divorce. I had moved only a week prior and was just starting to venture out of my flat. It was new and scary, but I was determined to strike out on my own.

But some days were harder than others. While I was trying to learn to truly be happy for Draco and Granger, and definitely not spending all my time wanting him back in my life, I would still get reminders of all the things that had happened this past year. 

Edgar had been thrown in Azkaban. He was found guilty on countless charges, but I think the attack on Hermione Granger is what really dug his grave. There were no longer dementors there to suck out his happiness, but he could rot in a cell and let his own mind do that.

I was just happy to have that chapter of my life closed.

"What can ah getcha miss?" A grizzly looking bartender spoke up above the deafening noise of the pub crowd.

The look on my face must have shown that I was in pain from this new experience. "Uh...I don't know..." I was use to wine, and even that I didn't know any of the names. It had always been picked out for me. Okay, I needed to be more self-sufficient.

I vaguely noticed as a man slid onto the bar stool next to me. He muttered something that I didn't catch and the bartender left to fill whatever order he had placed.

"You don't look like you're from around here," a broad smile and a _slight_ Scottish accent hit me.

"I'm from Wiltshire actually, just moved," I smiled back at him. Brown messy hair, caramel colored eyes, and he definitely looked like he did some sort of sport.

He nodded in approval, "Oh, an English lass. I was born in England myself, moved here only about five years back. My father was Scottish and always talked about how much he loved it. So I moved. That explains my mutt of an accent."

"I did notice it was a little softer than the other Scots here." Something I appreciated, I was dreadful with accents.

"What has you moving all the way here? And in this shady place? You don't look like the type to be here, no offense of course."

I sighed deeply, "Normally I'm not," I looked around at the strange environment. "I needed a change, I'm recently divorced. The finalizing papers were sent to me this morning." Why was I telling a stranger this?

He nodded, "Not that it will make you feel any better, because at the time it wouldn't have helped me much, but sometimes divorce is a blessing in disguise."

Before I could respond a drink was placed in front of me. I shot him a questioning look.

"Just try it, no funny business, I swear."

I went to obey but stopped quickly, "Wait, what is it? I want to start being able to order my own drink without sounding like a fool."

"Smart plan. This is just Drambuie. If you wanna be in a seedy Scottish pub, you're going to have to like whisky," He laughed a little, "Don't worry. This one is a little sweet."

I looked at the glass with distrust, "Sweet, huh?" 

"I thought it was fitting," he looked up from under long, dark lashes.

I bit the inside of my lip before extending my hand to him, "I'm Astoria Ma- Greengrass. Astoria Greengrass."

"Marcas Macalister," he kissed the top of my hand.

"Well Marcas, you're just going to have to show me around Scotland, since I'm brand new here."

"It would be my pleasure," a smile dance across his lips as he helped me down from the bar stool and we made our way outside.

We spent half the night looking at different attractions of Scotland, some known around the world and some purely for the wizarding community. He was just so full of life. This grown man was bouncing like a child as he rushed to show me his favorite parts of Scotland. It was refreshing to be around someone who wasn't cold and calm at all times. I didn't have to worry about behaving like a perfect lady all the time. I felt at ease being myself. And that's exactly what I needed. While I didn't plan on rushing into anything when I moved here, I wasn't about to look a second chance like this in the mouth. So I followed him through the night as told me everything about the place I could now call home.

* * *

A year and a half later it didn't even hurt when I got a rare visit from my mother telling me of the _troubling_ news she had just heard.

"Astoria, you just don't understand. He's marrying that little mudblood," my mother cried out.

I rolled my eyes, "And you don't seem to understand that I don't care. I'm happy for him. He deserves to be happy." It was the truth. "Mother, he followed his heart and I can't fault him for that," I spoke honestly. I was happy for Draco, happy that he found happiness. Clearly Grang- Hermione did that for him.

"You say this but..."

I cut her off, "but I mean it. Plus I have Marcas." 

"You rushed into that relationship," she shrugged.

I'd heard this argument before, "It had been eight months since the separation when we met, and we didn't start officially dating for another three months after that. It wasn't that rushed."

"He's not good enough for you, you can't possibly be entertaining the idea of spending your life with him. He's a nobody, and a half blood."

"He's plenty good enough, Mother. Maybe not to your traditional pureblooded, money-hungry ideals, but he's perfect for me. I love him." It was the first time I had said that, I hadn't even told him those three words yet. But, they came out so easily. They came out like I said the words all the time, and I knew from then on I was going to start.

"Ugh, please, you sound like your sister," she rolled her blue eyes at me. "You loved Draco too."

I flinched slightly. How dare she compare these two men, the way I felt about them were so different. "Maybe Daphne had the right idea all along. I did love Draco, but it was different. It was admiration and satisfaction of getting what I wanted at first. Yes, I learned to love him properly but it was unrequited. Even when he said he loved me it was different. We loved each other, but not like a married couple should. Not like he loves Hermione or I love Marcas. It's just different."

My mother never could get over that, making her visits and letters even sparser than before. But I was taking life's gifts in stride by now.

* * *

A year and four months after another piece of information got filtered through to me. The announcement of the pregnancy with the Malfoy heir or heiress. I only flinched a little while reading that. But, I was happy for him. The flinch was more about the baby thing than him, I still desperately wanted one...even if I knew I couldn't have one.

"Are you reading that stupid paper again? Every time you do it just makes you unhappy," two well muscled arms came to wrap around my shoulders as he leaned over, brushing his lips to my cheek.

"I know," I turned to give him a proper kiss. "I just like to stay updated on what is happening back in England. Plus my mum sends me these." I shrugged. I knew she only sent me them when it had news she thought I would find "interesting".

I noticed him nod as he scanned the stories, his eyes widened a bit when he got to the article that I had been reading, "I'm sorry, love."

"Don't be," I turned into his embrace, "In the end, I'm very happy for them...and for us. Without that divorce I wouldn't have met you. I would have went all my life not knowing what real love was."

"He was a stupid bloke for letting you get away, but oi, I'm not complaining," he smiled broadly. One of the things I loved about him was how much he smiled, always letting me know how happy he was about everything, with me.

"Neither am I," I smiled back at him.

He tugged the paper out of my hands, "Want to go for a walk in the garden?" We lived in a small community that had a public park and garden that we both enjoyed. We spent much of our free time there. My mother hated the fact that Marcas wasn't rich, I didn't care. I had plenty of money and he was a hard worker. We never had a problem concerning money. His sister, Amelia, owned a bakery not far from our home. And believe it or not, I got my own job there. (After her properly teaching me how to bake, of course!) I liked it, it was the first honest job I've ever had. It made me feel like I was contributing.

Grabbing a jacket to combat the cool air I followed him, hand in hand, out of the door.

At the park we watched as two children played a game of what I assumed to be called "You're it," but Marcas chuckled, calling it "Tag."

He cleared his throat, his eyes leaving the laughing children and moving to me, "I've been thinking..."

"Oh no!" I gave him a look of mock horror, "that's never a good thing."

He smiled, lighting up his face. "I'm being serious, Astoria." Even when he was serious he was smiling.

"Okay, go on," now I was starting to worry.

"I was thinking and... How do you feel about adoption?"

I was shocked at first, I felt my smile grow, "I hadn't really thought about it. I mean I have I just...I never thought about it being an option."

"I know you want children, and I would like them as well. There are so many kids out there who don't have parents, and I just thought...I thought we could give at least one a set of very loving parents."

I thrust myself onto him, my arms wrapping around his body, "Yes, yes we could."

He cleared his throat again, "one more thing..."

"Hmmm?"

I felt him pulling himself out of my grasp, "In order be candidates for being adoptive parents...they usually want the couple to be married."

"What?" My eyes went wide as I saw him move from the bench and half-kneel at my feet.

"Astoria, will you do me, and our future family, the pleasure of marrying me?"

My life had been a crazy ride up to that point. All the things I had thought I wanted, needed, turned out to be wrong. And all the things I didn't give the chance, now became a huge part of my life. I fell in love, and out of it. Married and divorced. Learned to live my life against the rules that I had been set in all my life. I fell in love (for real this time!) and was going to be married to this crazy, wonderful, beautiful man that loved me for me. No longer did I have to pretend to be anything but myself.

I was just... _Astoria._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's all she wrote....for now.


End file.
